The Cleveland Show (TV Series)

A Brown Thanksgiving (2009)

Mike Henry: Cleveland Brown, Rallo Tubbs

Quotes 

• Roberta Tubbs : I'm spending Thanksgiving with Federline.

  Donna Tubbs : You most certainly are not. Do you have any idea how much work I am putting into this dinner?

  Cookie Brown : Judging from those store-bought pies in the kitchen, I'd say not enough.

  Donna Tubbs : [to Cleveland]  Are you gonna let your crazy mother talk to me like that?

  Cleveland Brown : Ha, ha. That's my mama. Ha, ha.

  Cookie Brown : [to Cleveland]  Are you gonna let your big-ass wife talk to me like that?

  Cleveland Brown : Ha, ha. That's my wife. Ha, ha.

• Cleveland Brown : [laughs]  I can see Auntie Momma's penis.

  [shocked] 

  Cleveland Brown : Auntie Momma's penis?

• Donna Tubbs : [to Cleveland]  I'm worried about your mother.

  Cleveland Brown : I'm worried about my father.

  Cleveland Brown Jr. : I'm worried about leaving my soda can unattended because a bee could easily fly in there. And then I would take a sip and that bee could sting me inside my throat. And then people would ask, "What's wrong, Cleveland Brown Jr?" And I wouldn't be able to tell them because my throat would be all closed up...

  Cleveland Brown : Write it in your worry journal.

• Cleveland Brown : Dad, you came here with Mom. Show the woman a little respect.

  LeVar 'Freight Train' Brown : Your mama ain't a woman. You're more of a woman than she is. Your boobs are bigger, your ass is rounder and your moustache ain't as thick.

• Filthy Nick : [to Roberta and Federline]  I may not look like much to you, but I've peed a lot of pants in my day and I've learned a thing or two. First, family is the most important thing you could ever have. Second, if you try to wash your pants in the McDonald's bathroom, they will call the cops.

• Cleveland Brown : [to Auntie Mama]  What's up with you?

  Auntie Momma : I'm outrageous.

  Cleveland Brown : No. This is outrageous.

  [grabs Auntie Mama's crotch] 

  Auntie Momma : [in a deep male voice]  What do you want?

  Cleveland Brown : First, I'll tell you what I don't want. I don't want to hold onto this anymore.

• Cleveland Brown : [to Freight Train]  Now, why don't you go in there and say something nice to my mom? She's had a hard day watching you play grab-ass with a trannie.