- Dee Reynolds: [reading Mac's letter to Chase Utley] Dear Chase, I feel like I can call you Chase because you and me are so alike. I'd like to meet you one day, it would be great to have a catch. I know I can't throw as fast as you but I think you'd be impressed with my speed. I love your hair, you run fast. Did you have a good relationship with your father? Me neither. These are all things we can talk about and more. I know you have no been getting my letters because I know you would write back if you did. I hope you write back this time, and we can become good friends. I am sure our relationship would be a real home run!
- Dennis Reynolds: [walks in on his friends preparing for the Phillies playing in the World Series] Hey guys what's up?
- Dee Reynolds: How come you aren't wearing your colors?
- Dennis Reynolds: Colors? What are you...? Oh, my God, is today the World Series? I totally forgot... Oh, wait a minute!
- [takes off shirt to reveal "Go Phillies" written on his chest]
- Dennis Reynolds: Sporting events are the one time it's socially acceptable to go shirtless in public and I plan to be blasting bare chest the whole time.
- Frank Reynolds: You're gonna feel cold as shit up in those stands!
- Dennis Reynolds: I'm not going to be feeling anything because I plan to be blasted on grain alcohol!
- Dee Reynolds: Did you write a love letter to Chase Utley?
- Mac: In a lot of ways, yes, I do love him, but that is not a love letter in the way that you're thinking of! Okay? There's nothing sexual or...
- Dee Reynolds: Okay, sounds good. I'm going to read it.
- Mac: Yeah! Read it!
- Dee Reynolds: "Dear Chase..." Oh, shit! There's stickers! My God...
- Mac: Yeah, you gotta jazz it up.
- Dee Reynolds: You sure do.
- Judge: [Mac and Dennis are doing push-ups] All right, enough! Stop it!
- Dennis Reynolds: All right. But you get my point, Your Honor, and you could see that Mac was slowing down at the end there.
- Mac: What?
- Dennis Reynolds: And let the record show that that is because he only works out his glamour muscles.