Community (TV Series)

Introduction to Statistics (2009)

Chevy Chase: Pierce Hawthorne

Photos 

Quotes 

• Pierce Hawthorne : Those floating Mexican skeletons were right. My life is over.

  Jeff Winger : Well, when we go to floating skeletons with our problems, we get what we pay for, don't we?

• Troy : Jeff! Jeff! Jeff! Pierce is freaking out. You're the only one that can help!

  Jeff Winger : What makes you think that?

  Pierce Hawthorne : Is Jeff out there? He's the only one who can help!

• Pierce Hawthorne : What did you slip me? I keep grinding my teeth, and I wanna kiss everybody.

  Star-Burns : What did you give me? My heart stopped racing, and I can't pee.

• Jeff Winger : Pierce, stop grinding on the Women's Studies department. You are too old to be tripping.

  Pierce Hawthorne : I'm old?

  [Puts hands on Jeff's shoulders, then stares at them] 

  Pierce Hawthorne : Whose hands are these?

• Annie : I'm still waiting to hear from Jeff and Pierce.

  Pierce Hawthorne : Oh, I thought I shot you a response from this pocket phone here. Access e-mail. I cannot figure out the voice command part of this thing. It's like I'm my mother.

  Pierce's Phone : Calling mother.

  Pierce Hawthorne : What?

  [irritatedly surprised] 

  Pierce's Mom : Hello? Pierce?

  Pierce Hawthorne : Mom?

  Pierce's Mom : How's school going? Are you popular?

  Pierce Hawthorne : I am headed through a tunnel right now. Wrong number.

  [to classmates] 

  Pierce's Mom : Has that boy Jeff stopped teasing you? How's your Canadian girlfriend? I saw your father's ghost again. He's still angry.

• Pierce Hawthorne : What are you going as? A gay douchebag? Just kidding.

  Jeff Winger : Nice one. I'm not much of a costume guy.

  Pierce Hawthorne : I know, you're not much of a liking the ladies guy either, huh? Oop. Body blow. Is that liquor?