Joy Ride (2023)

Stephanie Hsu: Kat

Photos 

Quotes 

• Kat : My vagina is the devil and she's here to stay!

• Deadeye : My legal name is Vanessa. Call me Deadeye.

  Kat : Oh, where did that... come from?

  [Deadeye stares at Kat, dead-eyed] 

  Kat : You know, I think I get it.

• Kat : I hate you so much right now!

  Lolo : Just push. Pull. I mean, twist it.

  Kat : [screams]  It's not a Bop It, it's my asshole!

• Kat : [to Lolo]  This is all your fault.

  Lolo : How is it my fault? I'm not the one who chose the train cabin with the one obvious drug dealer just 'cause I'm a wee bit racist against my own people.

  Audrey : I'm not racist.

  Lolo : Hey, "not racist." But you don't like boba and you've never fucked an Asian guy, so...

  Kat : Damn. Still?

  Audrey : No, no. Remember that foreign exchange student from Kazakhstan? B... Bizi... Bizip? Uh, Bazid?

  Kat : David?

  Audrey : David. David.

  Lolo : Is Kazakhstan even in Asia?

  Audrey : They look kind of Asian sometimes.

  Kat : Oh, my God!

  Lolo : Okay. Racist.

• Lolo : Her address is on there. She lives in Haiching, which is super close to Nai Nai's. And we'll just stay with them.

  Deadeye : Oh, no, no, no. She can't handle it!

  Audrey : Wait, no. Why not? I can handle it.

  Lolo : Nai Nai's like, Chinese-Chinese. Like, "super long hair coming out of a mole and refuses to pluck it 'cause it's bad luck" Chinese.

  Kat : "Forces you to overeat, and then comments on your weight later" Chinese.

  Lolo : Like, literally, "take her bra off, wipe her under-boob sweat in the middle of a Buddhist temple and make you sniff it" Chinese.

  Kat : "Has a plastic bag full of other plastic bags" Chinese.

• Helen : [in English]  You, Korea girl.

  Audrey : Uh...

  [Helen motions at adoption papers] 

  Kat : [reading papers]  Your mom's name is Min Park.

  Audrey : That... That's a mistake. I'm... I'm Chinese. I... I went to Chinese school for a year. I... I... We... We celebrated Chinese New Year's. I...

  Deadeye : But Korea's great. I mean, there's... There's mukbang, soju, Hyundai, Gangnam Style, half of Hines Ward, half of Charles Melton, all of Randall Park.

• Kat : [in Mandarin]  A native speaker is better than a brainless foreigner.

  [all laugh] 

  Lolo : [in Mandarin]  Why don't you eat a dick? Eat a big one or a small one. Whatever you like.

  Audrey : [laughs along]  What is that?

  Deadeye : [in Mandarin]  I also speak Chinese!

  [all laughing] 

• [Kat is mortified that her accidental flashing of her tattooed vagina has gone viral] 

  Lolo : There's already a meme with Tweety Bird saying, -"I thought I thaw..."

  Kat : Don't say it!

• Kat : [crying]  I'm gonna get fired from my show. And my movie. And I'm never gonna go to LA.

  Lolo : It's okay. It's not the end of the world.

  Kat : No, it literally is the end of the world.

  [cries] 

  Kat : Clarence and I were gonna rent a house in Malibu. And we were gonna be one of those couples who meditate every single day and tell people about it because that is what people do in Los Angeles.

• Lolo : [rapping a K-pop version of WAP]  Wet ass pussy/beat it up, Lolo/catch a charge/Kumon smart and Kumon hard/Put this pussy/on a girl named Grace/Who got them A's/on a report card

  Kat , Audrey : Hop on top, I wanna ride/In a rice rocket/that's a Hyundai/Cut up that duck/don't cut up the eyes/This pussy is wet/we know how to dive

  Deadeye : [background]  Olympics

  Lolo : Thai me up

  Kat : Like I'm tea iced

  Lolo : Let's go play

  Audrey : Just not on the slide

  Lolo , Kat , Audrey : I want you to park/that plastic couch

  Lolo : Right in this dusty garage