The Great Vazquez (2010)

Santiago Segura: Vázquez

Quotes 

• Vázquez : Come on.

  Rosa : Wait a moment.

  Vázquez : What's the matter?

  Rosa : You think I'm some dumb just arrived from the country who enters a hotel with the first guy she meets in the street?

  Vázquez : Well, I...

  Rosa : Well yes. I am. Come on.

• Rosa : It breaks my heart, Manolo, really. She's a good woman. Couldn't we pay her at least ONE month?

  Vázquez : It's a matter of principles. People who rent apartments, always have too many apartments.

• Vázquez : I'd bet my neck that the old woman has some good bundles under her mattress. And I'll tell you more: Getting dough out of those who have it is more than a right, it's a duty. Do you understand?

  Rosa : You are a dangerous son of a bitch, you knew that?

• Carlitos : Mom says you take advantage of the poor people.

  Vázquez : No, I don't take advantage of the poor people, I take advantage of the *bad* people.

  Carlitos : And how can you tell them apart?

  Vázquez : Who?

  Carlitos : Good people from bad. In the movies it's easy because the bad ones always wear black, but outside of them, you never know.

  Vázquez : I don't know. Bad ones are those who want to take something from you. You must make them believe they got it, they can take something from you, but really it's you who're getting it from them. You must take advantage of the moment, do you understand? That's rule number one.

• Vázquez : The day will come when all of us will have a record. Everywhere they'll know everything about you. How much you owe, how much you have in the bank, the dental fillings you've had... There'll be super-computers storing all that data. But those'll be so big, they'll have to build whole cities just for them. Luckily, we're centuries away from that. So, in the meanwhile, the only thing you must do is work by neighbourhoods. When they know you in one, you move to another one. And that's it?

• Vázquez : So, what are you going to do with the twenty duros?

  Carlitos : Deposit them in the savings account. Every twelve deposits, they give you a stamp album.

  Vázquez : No fucking way. You'll spend those in pastries or in the theme park. Or in whores! I won't allow a son of mine to save.

• Vázquez : You were unlucky the day you crossed my path.

• Vázquez : Drawing myself...

  [Starts drawing] 

  Madame : [Sees the sketch]  Come on, man, that looks like Gary Cooper! Give'im more paunch... Yeah, and less hair!

  Vázquez as a cartoon : Not that much. We're not bald!

  Vázquez : [to the cartoon]  Shut up!