The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Cornhusker Vortex (2009)
Simon Helberg: Howard Wolowitz
Photos
Quotes
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Howard Wolowitz : Sheldon knows football?
Leonard Hofstadter : Apparently.
Howard Wolowitz : I mean Quidditch, sure. But football?
Leonard Hofstadter : Sheldon, how do you know this stuff?
Sheldon Cooper : I grew up in Texas. Football is ubiquitous in Texas. Pro football, college football, high school football, Pee-Wee football; in fact, every form of football except the original: European football, which most Texans believe to be a commie plot.
Leonard Hofstadter : Unbelievable.
Sheldon Cooper : If you're interested, I also know all about frying meat that isn't chicken as if it were chicken.
Leonard Hofstadter : So you could teach me?
Sheldon Cooper : Football or chicken fried meats?
Leonard Hofstadter : Football! I'm going to Penny's on Saturday to watch a game with her friends, and I don't want to look like an idiot. I want to blend in.
Sheldon Cooper : If you want to blend in with Penny's friends, I think looking like an idiot would be the perfect camouflage.
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Howard Wolowitz : [Howard and Raj are arguing] At least I can talk to women without being drunk!
Rajesh Koothrappali : Excuse me, I have selective mutism, a recognized medical disorder. You're just a douche!
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Howard Wolowitz : [about a girl he thought smiled at him] I totally had a shot!
Rajesh Koothrappali : With a woman you were chasing through a park. That's not a shot; that's a felony.
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Howard Wolowitz : I brought you a little gift. New kite!
Rajesh Koothrappali : [scoffs] The kite you made me lose was an authentic Patang. An Indian fighting kite that my brother sent to me from New Delhi. It took me a day to put together and two days to paint. This is Hello Kitty.
Howard Wolowitz : Yeah, but it comes with a little coin purse. Does a Patang?
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Howard Wolowitz : I would've caught up to her if I hadn't pulled a hammy.
Rajesh Koothrappali : Oh, please. You weigh 80 pounds. You don't have a hammy.
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Leonard Hofstadter : [watching football] What is this "sacks" statistic they put up there?
Howard Wolowitz : All I know about Saks is my mother shops there.
Leonard Hofstadter : [searching the index of "Football for Dummies"] Sacks, sacks.
Sheldon Cooper : It's football nomenclature for when a quarterback is tackled behind the line of scrimmage.
Leonard Hofstadter : Huh.
[looking through his book again]
Leonard Hofstadter : Scrimmage...
Sheldon Cooper : The line of scrimmage is the imaginary transverse line separating the offense from the defense.
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[first lines]
Howard Wolowitz , Leonard Hofstadter , Rajesh Koothrappali : Kites ho! Kites ho! Kites ho!
Sheldon Cooper : Excuse me. You're misusing the word "ho". It's an interjection used to call attention to a destination, not an object. As in, uh, "land ho!" or, uh, "westward ho!"
Howard Wolowitz , Leonard Hofstadter , Rajesh Koothrappali : [after a beat] Kites ho!