- Michael Scott: So, Meredith, how was your weekend?
- Meredith Palmer: Well, I caught my son taking a dump on the upper part of the toilet. He calls it an Upper Decker.
- Erin Hannon: [Michael walks in office, man waits on couch] Mr. Grotti, this is Michael Scott. He's the person you should talk to.
- Michael Scott: Oh hi. I'm sorry, just a sec.
- [whispers]
- Michael Scott: Erin, you're supposed to be the gatekeeper, do you have any idea how valuable my time is?
- Erin Hannon: In your schedule it just says nine til noon is "creative space" and I thought this could be part of that.
- Michael Scott: Do you know how creative space works? Okay, I just cancelled my afternoon.
- Erin Hannon: You don't have anything in the afternoon. It just says "free play."
- Michael Scott: Push free play til tomorrow morning.
- [to Grotti]
- Michael Scott: Hi. Sorry. Crazy day. You're seeing how the sausage gets made.
- Grotti: Ah.
- Michael Scott: Come in the conference room, and I will show you a finished sausage.
- Dwight Schrute: [after Michael's meeting with Grotti] Did he threaten you?
- Michael Scott: No, Dwight. Not everything is a threat.
- Andy Bernard: Mobsters are!
- Michael Scott: There's no such thing as monsters.