Community (TV Series)
Football, Feminism and You (2009)
Chevy Chase: Pierce Hawthorne
Photos
Quotes
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Pierce Hawthorne : I think if we add in a little Phylicia Rashad, we'll be in better shape.
Dean Pelton : Yeah, you're right. That beige is a little light.
Jeff Winger : Um... Wow.
Dean Pelton : Yeah. Yeah. We are developing the perfect mascot. No stereotypical identifiers from any race or gender.
Pierce Hawthorne : You see, Jeff, this is a chart of the features we're staying away from: Pan-Asian eye folds, uh, Irish chins, women's breasts.
Jeff Winger : Is that Seal?
Dean Pelton : Oh, that is our human color wheel. It goes from Seal to Seal's teeth.
Pierce Hawthorne : What do you think?
Jeff Winger : I think not being racist is the new racism.
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Pierce Hawthorne : Gentlemen, I present to you the Greendale Human Being.
Jeff Winger : That's a falcon with a gun.
[Pierce turns the drawing on its side]
Jeff Winger : Now it's a falcon with an erection.
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Annie Edison : And what does a star turn into after it collapses?
Jeff Winger : A movie of the week.
Troy Barnes : A black hole.
Annie Edison : Right. Troy, you could be an astronomer.
Pierce Hawthorne : As far as I'm concerned, there's only one black hole worth studying.
[everyone stops and stares at Pierce]
Pierce Hawthorne : It's called Sagittarius A. It's located in the center of our galaxy and it has the density of 40 suns.
[Jeff holds up one finger to signal 'wait for it']
Pierce Hawthorne : Just like my wiener.
Troy Barnes : Troy: Ha-ha. You said "wiener." That's funny.
Abed Nadir : Pierce and Troy didn't get along at first but now they're bonding through mutual adolescence.
Pierce Hawthorne , Troy Barnes : Shut up, fart head. Will you shut up, poo-poo head?
