Photos
Quotes
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Sue Sylvester : When you hear your name called, cross over to this side of this black shiny thing.
Will Schuester : That's called a piano, Sue.
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[first lines; Will and Sue argue in slow-motion]
Will Schuester : [voiceover] How did this happen? I look like a crazy person. That's not me. Wow, I didn't even know the vein on my neck could stick out like that. We've been going at it for a week, ever since the decongestant incident when Figgins brought Sue in to co-run the Glee Club. I'm so ashamed of myself. She's turned me into her.
Sue Sylvester : [voiceover] Look at me. Even in the heat of battle, I'm so elegant, regal. I am Ajax, mighty Greek warrior. God, it feels good to finally pop that zit known as Will Schuester.
Will Schuester : [voiceover] Shut up, Sue. Look at us. We're even fighting in our voiceovers. I guess things really started to fall apart a couple of days ago, right after Figgins called us into his office for a sit-down.
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Will Schuester : [on why he flunked several of Sue's Cheerios, thus making them academically ineligible for the squad] I have a Spanish quiz in which one of your cheerleaders misspelled her name, and answered every question with a drawing of a sombrero!
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Will Schuester : Who do you think you are?
Sue Sylvester : Well, now you know how it felt for me to have my Cheerios snatched away.
Will Schuester : I can't do a song with three kids!
Sue Sylvester : Not with that attitude.
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Sue Sylvester : So, I decided to step down as co-head of Glee.
Will Schuester : Really?
Sue Sylvester : Yeah, it's not for me. It's too fruity. I can't stand the sight of kids getting emotional unless it's from physical exhaustion.
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Will Schuester : Why do I feel like I'm about to fall through a trap door into a pit of fire?
Sue Sylvester : Because you don't trust me. I know my methods are extreme. And I know I'm not like the rest of you hippies, caring about the kids' feelings as if they're real, but I do care about teaching. And when I coach them, and they win, I win. And you know how I feel about winning.
Will Schuester : I do.
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Sue Sylvester : [picking all the minority kids from Glee] See, Will, I don't want to participate in a group that ignores the needs of minority students.
Will Schuester : You have got to be kidding me.
Sue Sylvester : Oh, I wouldn't kid about this, Will, and maybe that's your problem. Bigotry is no laughing matter.
Santana Lopez : [quoting her news segment tagline] And that's how Sue sees it.
Sue Sylvester : Outstanding.
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Will Schuester : As we head into sectionals, I want to get some feedback, like what kind of stuff you guys would like to be doing. Is there anything, any music in particular, that you guys want to do?
Mercedes Jones : Could we maybe try something a little more... black?
Kurt Hummel : I agree. We do an awful lot of show tunes.
Rachel Berry : It's Glee Club. Not Krunk Club.
Mercedes Jones : Don't make me take you to the carpet.
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Terri Schuester : I think that I might be able to help you with your problems at school.
Will Schuester : Uh, thanks, Terri, but the last time you helped out at school, it didn't go over very well.
Terri Schuester : But...
Will Schuester : Besides, this is serious. I mean, Sue said she wouldn't rest until she saw me fired.
Terri Schuester : Well, all the more reason. You got to do whatever it takes, honey. You got to get down in the gutter if you want to win this.
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Will Schuester : You are a terrible influence on these kids. I think you're dangerous and I think you teach them all the wrong lessons.
Sue Sylvester : I don't care what you think. I have a legacy to protect, William, and Glee Club is a part of that legacy, and I will win. And if it means I have to get you fired to do it, so be it.
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Will Schuester : Sue.
[she ignores him]
Will Schuester : Hey, Sylvester, I'm talking to you.
Sue Sylvester : Oh, hey, buddy. I thought I smelled failure.
Will Schuester : Why'd you take the piano when it was my time up with the kids?
Sue Sylvester : A properly steam-cleaned piano is key to any successful music group.
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Will Schuester : Sue, I am not done talking to you. What about all my sheet music? My kids need that music.
Sue Sylvester : Well, Will, the last thing your kids need is chronic sinusitis from the mildew I feared was infesting that old moldy paper.
Will Schuester : Oh, so, what? You sent it away for some testing?
Sue Sylvester : No. Burned it.
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Principal Figgins : Sectionals is coming up. What are your co-director plans?
Will Schuester : Oh, we were actually... uh, we're each going to direct our own number.
Sue Sylvester : And we'll be flipping a coin to see who goes first. It'll be very civilized.
Will Schuester : Hmm, yeah.
Sue Sylvester : Very sportsmanlike, so...
Principal Figgins : This arrangement is pleasing to all.
Sue Sylvester : Isn't it?
Will Schuester : It's great.
Principal Figgins : Now... let's hug it out.
Will Schuester : [awkward laugh] I'd rather not do that
Sue Sylvester : I really don't see that happening.
Principal Figgins : This meeting doesn't end until I see your bodies touching. It's a technique I learned last week at my leadership seminar.
