Hel (2009) Poster

(2009)

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1/10
Nonsensical, exploitative drivel.
misskeganhearn-4804823 August 2022
I went into this film with a completely open mind, I am a major horror fan and this looked promising for a before-bed movie on Netflix. First off, the girl who plays Mila is probably the only decent thing about this film, she can actually act but she's wasted in this. The film is overtly misogynistic, exploitative and ridiculous. The storyline makes no sense - we have no character development, no character motivations, no backstory, nothing. The location being filmed in is beautiful, but it's wasted, and many of the filming locations are ridiculous and make no sense. Then we have the "mystery" - this is also ridiculous, it's clear that the writer and director thought they were doing something extremely deep and cerebral in this movie, but it's just pure tripe. None of the actions and events make sense, they're just mindless and seem to be shoved in to further a story which is barely there as it is. It's boring, which is probably it's biggest crime. I didn't care about any of the characters, I didn't care who was committing the murders, I didn't care about the gross American scriptwriter who sits and monologues for too long - I literally just couldn't have cared less about the entire plot. The ending was laughable, the "gore" is badly done, the murders are nonsensical, the characters are all utterly unlikeable, the dialogue is awful, the storyline is anaemic. Honestly, give it a miss - I'm not sure why this is even on Netflix, it's not even a good low budget horror/thriller/whatever the hell this was supposed to be. The women are basically attractive props to murder or bang, the men are foul looking and misogynistic yet seem to believe they're intelligent, charming and desirable? Honestly, I don't know what the hell they thought when making this, all I can assume is that this is one of the dude's vanity projects or something. Just skip it, it's not even worth watching high, drunk or on a rainy Sunday.
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