Men of a Certain Age (TV Series)

Pilot (2009)

Andre Braugher: Owen Thoreau Jr.

Quotes 

• Joe Tranelli : I lost two pounds peeing this morning. Two pounds.

  Owen Thoreau Jr. : Oh, here we go again.

  Joe Tranelli : I swear to God, two pounds.

  Owen Thoreau Jr. : Look, I told you, you can't lose two pounds just by peeing.

  Joe Tranelli : Well... I... I step on my digital scale, totally naked, before I pee and then again after I pee, and it's two pounds less. My record's two and half, so, yes, yes you can.

  Owen Thoreau Jr. : That's bulllshit.

  Joe Tranelli : Why would I lie? Wait, no, just think about it for second. What motive would I have that my pee weighs any more...

  [they hit a bump in the road] 

  Joe Tranelli : Oh, shit.