- Jim Halpert: I just want to say how happy we are that all of you are here tonight, and I want to specially thank those of you who have travelled from far away to be here with us tonight. Specially the Florida cousins, who obviously can't take a hint. Four years ago, I was just a guy who had a crush on a girl who had a boyfriend, and I had to do the hardest thing that I ever had to do, which was just to wait. Don't get me wrong, I flirted with her. Pam, I can now admit in front of friends and family that I do know how to make a photocopy, didn't need your help that many times. And do you remember how long it took you to teach me how to drive a stick?
- Pam Beesly: Like a year.
- Jim Halpert: I've been driving a stick since high school, so... yes. For a really long time that's all I had, I just had little moments with a girl who saw me as a friend. And a lot of people told me I was crazy to wait this long for a date with a girl I worked with, but I think even then I knew that... I was waiting for my wife. So, I would like to propose a toast. So, if you'd all raise your glasses... Not Pam, for obvious reasons, but everyone else. If you would raise your glasses...
- Sylvia: Which obvious? Why can't Pam drink?
- Jim Halpert: Pam can't drink? I didn't-- I shouldn't have said that. I don't know why I did. She can do whatever she wants, though she shouldn't. She shouldn't because she's an alcoholic. Pam is an alcoholic. That's not true. I-- no. What we want-- the real reason is that, that Pam's pregnant.
- Dwight Schrute: Pam is constantly throwing up because of the pregnancy. If she eats something the fetus doesn't like, she is screwed. It's amazing. A three-ounce fetus is calling the shots. It's so bad ass.
- Michael Scott: Hey guys! Hey, could I stay in your room tonight?
- Erin Hannon: Oh gross!
- Kelly Kapoor: Blow my brains out.
- Michael Scott: It's not 1890 any more. This is modern day and women have sex before marriage. And I think we need to celebrate that. And I know in your day she would be considered a whore, but now, women go out and they have sex and they get wild and they take their tops off and they have pictures taken of them. And we need to encourage that.
- Michael Scott: Could I stay in your room tonight?
- Stanley Hudson: Are you out of your mind? I brought Cynthia with me.
- Michael Scott: Not in the same bed, in the other bed.
- Stanley Hudson: I got one queen-size bed.
- Michael Scott: You are kidding me.
- Stanley Hudson: A queen-size bed is 5 feet wide. I am not 5 feet wide, Michael.