- Will Davis: I just need something to keep the lights on until I find my dream job.
- Charlie: I don't think you can monetize masturbation.
- Will Davis: Charlie got a job today.
- Jillian Stewart: McDonald's or Taco Bell?
- Charlie: Middle school chemistry teacher.
- Jillian Stewart: I weep for our future.
- [Roger is whistling and pacing]
- Braddock: You can't wait here, sir. Why don't you find a Starbucks.
- Roger Davis: Why don't *you* find a Suck-My-Cock-bucks!
- Jillian Stewart: Your best idea for making rent is masturbating into a cup?
- Will Davis: I'm an accomplished masturbator.