- Megan Walker: Daddy, why did Jonah die?
- Ben: I don't know, maybe he didn't love Jesus the way he was supposed to.
- Megan Walker: Mommy, my fish is in Hell!
- Ben: Five minutes from now, I'll be sucking down a half-caff chai latte... and you'll be eating crow.
- Mike the Angel: I don't think so. Consumption of carrion birds is prohibited in Deuteronomy 14... I'm old-fashioned that way.
- Kimberly Walker: [through tears] Daddy paid Dylan Jordan, the most popular guy in Clearville, 80 dollars to stay away from me.
- Wendy: [to Ben] Please tell me that isn't true.
- Ben: When Ben was asking to see the rich man, Henryk Zimmerman, who was dying the nurse said...
- Front Desk Nurse: If I was him I would be looking for a small camel and a really big needle - reference to Matt 19:24 Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."