- Tucker Bryant: Didn't Dad fire you?
- Dr. Hank Lawson: He did, from being your doctor, not from being your friend.
- Tucker Bryant: Listen, why don't we go back to my place? You know, Dad's not home, and Libby's stocked the fridge with food so organic you can taste the dirt.
- Dr. Hank Lawson: Uh, last time I checked, the drinking age in New York was twenty-one.
- Libby: Well, while technically the Hamptons are in New York, they actually occupy a time-space continuum of their own.
- Dr. Hank Lawson: Look, if you like her, then ask her out.
- Evan R. Lawson: Did she tell you to tell me that?
- Dr. Hank Lawson: Yes, by my locker, before homeroom.
- Jill Casey: Sorry to be laying in wait at your house, but I have something for you.
- Dr. Hank Lawson: Fine, I'll see another property, but it should have a fabulous room, and the person showing it should have leprosy. Those are my conditions.
- Dr. Hank Lawson: That's quite a maneuver, Maverick.
- Tucker Bryant: Maverick? Who's that?
- Dr. Hank Lawson: Oh, I don't know, a little movie called...
- Dr. Hank Lawson, Tucker Bryant: [together] ... Top Gun.
- Tucker Bryant: I know, Hank. I'm just joking. I AM aware of American culture pre-iPod.
- Dr. Hank Lawson: [laughs] Talk to me, Goose.
- Dr. Hank Lawson: I didn't realize you were such a daredevil.
- Tucker Bryant: Well, as a hemophiliac, what choice do I have, you know?