Eyes of the Woods (2009) User Reviews

IT'S NOT A STICK. IT'S A FEMUR.

[nogodnomasters · 5/10 · 28 April 2019]

The film takes 15 minutes to explain the origin of Wicker demon all the while it displays credits. Finally we get to the present day as a group of young adults take a back road and get lost. Add in the proverbial bad service station attendant, no phone bars. and the woods playing tricks on them and the film works as a spoof on horror films. Unfortunately much of the film isn't a spoof. The opening sequence taking 15 minutes was 10 minutes too long. The kids wondering in the woods got boring, which they divided up by showing us more people in the woods. The creature looked great, too bad we didn't see much of it. Also the budget was too low to show us a decent attack scene.

Guide: F-bomb. No sex. Bloody woman nudity (Crystal Swarovski) Mentions "Ned Flanders" for Simpson fans.

I can't believe I was waiting so long to see this....

[Deliberate_Stranger · 6 November 2012]

Another movie which I wanted to see badly since I first heard about it turned out to be a complete disappointment. 'Eyes of the Woods' were shot around 2008 and finally got It's DVD release this year. After watching this, I know why it took them so long. There were 3 or 4 directors, none of them had a clue about directing and the movie become a mess because of that. I have seen pretty much everything in movies but the editing in this movie beats it all. It really looks like it was edited by a monkey and makes very little sense when it comes to what happens on screen sometimes. Acting is beyond bad, no wonder - most of actors are amateurs, not even lovely Alissa Koenig from 'Zombie Wars' could shine in this one, also because there is a lot of sound issues. The only thing really worth watching here is a creature which is extremely well done with all practical effects only, no cgi. However this doesn't help much with a quality of the movie. There is some really nice looking gore at the beginning but It's all within first few minutes. Later on we have maybe one nice gore scene and lots of blood but that's pretty much it. Can't even remember the music which means It was far from impressive. Movie doesn't last long but It's quite boring for the most of the time and because acting is so horrible, it makes it even harder to watch. DVD says It's a special edition with audio commentary and stuff but there is nothing like that to be found on the disc. Hell, there is not even menu on the disc, at least I couldn't find one. Film just starts playing and It's unable to jump to the menu. Film also stops few times for a few seconds, it might be a DVD fault but there was no scratches on my disc at all so I don't know. All in all I can say It's one of my worsts experiences, really wanted to like it, creature looks so cool but because of bunch of people without any single idea how to make a movie, it failed miserably in 'unwatchable' category. I highly recommend to avoid this one. If they don't respect you and deliver something which should never leave editing room, you shouldn't buy it for your hard (or not) earned money. One point for the creature is all I can give.

Do Not Watch!!!

[jerrangel05 · 1/10 · 17 August 2017]

Now this movie was one of the worst movies I have ever seen. When you first start this film you have to double check to make sure you put on the correct film. It looks like this film was made on a $100 budget. Let's not even start on the acting! Oh my gosh the acting was atrocious. I really don't want to write too much on how bad this film was. I'm just here to warn you to not waste your very precious time unless you're into cheap horror that is more comedy than anything.

OMG - torture to watch this

[ron-49490 · 1/10 · 14 February 2018]

I do not write many many reviews......but needed to do this one. DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE - i mean it - it has to be the absolute worst (and i have seen plenty, being a "b" horror movie fan) movie I have ever watched.......I did complete it - and wasted a hour and change of my life.then had this terrible feeling for having wasted an hour and change on the couch. the big thing is i took this out of the local library - WHY IN EARTH would they waste tax dollars to purchase this garbage. It was painful, ACTING was fifth grade level, and filming in general - poop city.