- Ginny Flynn: I told you not to scold my child.
- Jackie Peyton: I asked your child to make a little bit of room for my child, and I think I said "please".
- Kaitlyn Flynn: I don't think she practiced.
- Jackie Peyton: Have you always been such a snot, Kaitlyn?
- Grace Peyton: Mom, don't.
- Ginny Flynn: You're embarassing your daughter.
- Jackie Peyton: Fuck you!
- Tap Instructor: Uh, is there a problem here?
- Jackie Peyton: No.
- Kaitlyn Flynn: She said the "F".
- Ginny Flynn: In a church.
- Melissa Greenfield: I'm just shocked. I thought we were perfect together.
- Dr. Fitch Cooper: We are. We were. It's so not you, I promise. You're exactly my type. I've dated a hundred of you, I swear.
- Melissa Greenfield: Oh my God, that's even worse!
- Dr. Fitch Cooper: No, it's a compliment!
- Zoey Barkow: In your professional opinion, why are cats so underused in the film industry?
- Neil Nutterman: I hate cats.
- Neil Nutterman: My job is to hold people to a higher standard. Do you know what an unfun, thankless job that is?
- Gloria Akalitus: Oh, I know.
- Neil Nutterman: I don't need people to agree with me. I expect "good," I expect "smart," and if that makes me the bad guy...
- Gloria Akalitus: A fellow bad guy. That's refreshing.
- Zoey Barkow: I put a film critic in a coma. You know when I wake up, the first thing I think is, I hope I don't kill anyone today.
- Thor Lundgren: It's good to have goals.
- Zoey Barkow: The only thing I want to do besides help people, is *not* kill them.
- Mohammed 'Mo-Mo' De La Cruz: We all make mistakes.
- Thor Lundgren: I shaved a woman's pubic hair before she got her toncils out.