"The Addams Family" Girlfriendstein/Pugsley by the Numbers/Beware of Thing (TV Episode 1992) - Rip Taylor as Uncle Fester

Uncle Fester : [in regards to Lurch being dumped by his girlfriend] Well, what do you want me to do? Go downstairs and build him a new girlfriend?

Gomez Addams : [leaping into the air] Fester, eureka!

Uncle Fester : [laughs] I wish, but it's just this ten pounds of cheese I'm aging in my coat!
Uncle Fester : Look at me! I'm playing Tombstone Pinball!
[Lurch moans louder than usual]

Uncle Fester : What was that? Did the new cow get out of my bedroom?
[Lurch falls into a grave]

Uncle Fester : Oh, my. Lurch! Old buddy, old pal, speak to me! Are you hurt? Any bones broken? You gonna eat that earthworm?
Uncle Fester : [a la Dr Frankenstein] It's ready! It's ready!

Pugsley Addams : What's ready, Uncle Fester?

Wednesday Addams : Lurch's girlfriend?

Uncle Fester : Nah! My monkey-hair hoagie!
Uncle Fester : Hey, Lurch, are you a jungle kind of guy?

[Lurch moans]

Uncle Fester : Okay, we'll skip that one...
Uncle Fester : [at a remote] Hey, I forgot what this button's for... let mr see...

[presses the button, he blows up]

Rip Taylor: Uncle Fester