Wednesday (TV Series)

Friend or Woe (2022)

Jenna Ortega: Wednesday Addams, Goody Addams

Photos 

Quotes 

• Wednesday Addams : It's amateurs like you who give kidnapping a bad name.

• Tyler Galpin : Don't tell me you were a Girl Scout.

  Wednesday Addams : I could eat Girl Scouts for breakfast. Actually, I have an uncle who went to prison for that.

• Wednesday Addams : [to Xavier, who had just told her how unreliable psychic visions are]  Are you mansplaining my power?

• Xavier Thorpe : How did you get down here?

  Wednesday Addams : Rowan showed me. Left pocket.

  [Xavier pulls page from book out of her coat pocket] 

  Wednesday Addams : I tracked the watermark to the Poe statue. Then I solved the riddle.

  Kent : Wait. There's a riddle? I thought we just snapped twice.

  Wednesday Addams : [sarcastically]  Well, aren't you the brightest in the bunch?

• Xavier Thorpe : I'm sure it wouldn't be too challenging to play an uplifting Fleetwood Mac melody.

  Wednesday Addams : As long as you promise to hang me as a witch afterwards.

• Bianca Barclay : The Nightshades are an elite social club, emphasis on elite.

  Yoko Tanaka : We have roof parties, campouts, the occasional midnight skinny dip.

  Divina : And Yoko's an amateur mixologist.

  Ajax Petropolus : She makes killer virgin mojitos. It can get pretty wild.

  Wednesday Addams : [sarcastically]  Wow. Do you guys even have a bedtime?

• Wednesday Addams : [Speaking in German, offering samples of fudge to German tourists]  Enjoy your "authentic" pilgrim fudge made with cacao beans procured by the oppressed indigenous people of the Amazon.

  Tour group : [Shocked]  What?

  Wednesday Addams : All proceeds go to uphold this pathetic whitewashing of American history.

  Wednesday Addams : Also, fudge wasn't invented for another 268 years. Any takers?

  Tour group : [Leaving]  No, no, no.

• Wednesday Addams : Secrets are like zombies. They never truly die.

• Wednesday Addams : The original meeting house, the one shown in the painting, where is it?

  Arlene : [Pilgrim World employee]  Sigh. How the hell should I know? I only moved here from Scottsdale in April.

• Wednesday Addams : I don't believe in heaven or hell. But I do believe in revenge.

• Wednesday Addams : Let's assess, shall we? Bag over my head for optimal disorientation, wrists tied tight enough to cut off circulation, and no idea if I'm going to live or die. It's definitely my kind of party.

• Wednesday Addams : There were so many threads to my investigation, I could weave a burial shroud.

• Eugene Ottinger : "Ye Olde Fudgery?"

  Wednesday Addams : More like ye olde diabetes in a box.

• Eugene Ottinger : I know this might come as a shock, but I don't have any friends.

  Wednesday Addams : You remind me of my brother, sans the desire to strangle him every waking moment.

• Xavier Thorpe : I thought you were supposed to be at Pilgrim World.

  Wednesday Addams : I deserted it while my sanity was still intact.

• Tyler Galpin : You're becoming obsessed with this monster in the woods thing.

  Wednesday Addams : Would you rather I develop an obsession with horses and boy bands?

• Wednesday Addams : Principal Weems would hang, draw and quarter me if I miss the big statue dedication. And as enticing as that sounds, I'd prefer to keep a low profile.

• Wednesday Addams : I would rather dye my hair pink than ask my mother for advice.

• Principal Larissa Weems : You're exhausting.

  Wednesday Addams : I know.

• Enid Sinclair : Wish me luck.

  Wednesday Addams : If he breaks your heart, I'll nail-gun his.