Drive My Car (2021)

Tôko Miura: Misaki Watari

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Quotes 

• Yûsuke Kafuku : The day Oto died she asked before I left if we could talk when I got home. Her tone was gentle but determined. I had no plans that day, but kept on driving. I couldn't go home. I thought that once I went home, we would never be the same again. I found her collapsed when I returned late at night. I called an ambulance but she never regained conciousness. What if I'd gone home a bit earlier? I think so every day.

  Misaki Watari : I killed my mother. When the landslide crushed our home, I was inside too. I was able to crawl out from the fallen house. After escaping, I gazed at the half-collapsed house for a while. Then some more debris came falling and completely destroyed it. My mother was found dead under the debris. I knew she was still in the house. I don't know why I didn't call for help, or why I didn't save her. I hated her, but that wasn't the only thing I felt about her. This scar on my cheek is from that accident. I was told surgery could make it less conspicuous, but I don't feel like erasing it.

  Yûsuke Kafuku : If I were your father, I'd hold you round the shoulders and say, "It's not your fault. You did nothing wrong". But I can't say that. You killed your mother, and I killed my wife.

• Misaki Watari : Mr. Kafuku. About Oto... It would be hard for you to accept her, everything about her, as genuine? Maybe there was nothing mysterious about her. Would it be hard to think that she was simply like that? That she loved you dearly and that she sought other men constantly don't seem to contradict each other or sound deceptive to me. Is that strange? I'm sorry.

  Yûsuke Kafuku : I... should have been hurt properly. I let something genuine slip by. I was so deeply hurt. To the point of distraction. But because of that I pretended not to notice it. I didn't listen to myself. So I lost Oto. Forever. Now I see. I want to see Oto. If I do, I want to yell at her. Berate her. For lying to me all the time. I want to apologize. For not listening. For not being strong. I want her back. I want her to live. I want to talk to her just once more. I want to see her. But it's too late. There's no turning back. There's nothing I can do.

• Misaki Watari : My mother had a separate personality named Sachi.

  Yûsuke Kafuku : Sachi?

  Yûsuke Kafuku : Yes. She first appeared when I was 14. She said she was 8 years old but she never aged in 4 years. Sachi ofter appear my mother beat me up terribly. It was her like her awareness didn't match the body of an adult, so she couldn't move well. She'd try to walk but fall over, and would end up just sitting still. Sachi liked puzzled rings. We did crosswords together. Sachi cried a lot for no reason. Whenever she did, I'd hold her and rub her back over and over. I liked those times. The last beautiful thing in my mother was condensed in Sachi. Sachi was my only friend. I don't know if my mother was mentally ill, or if she was acting to keep me close to her. But even if she were acting, it was from the bottom of her heart. Becoming Sachi was my mother's way of surviving a harsh reality, I think. When that landslide occured, I knew that my mother's death it meant that Sachi would die, too. Even so... I didn't move.