Drive My Car (2021)

Masaki Okada: Koji Takatsuki

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Quotes 

• Kôshi Takatsuki : But even if you think you know someone well, even if you love that person deeply, you can't completely look into that person's heart. You'll just feel hurt. But if you put in enough effort, you should be able to look into your own heart pretty well. So in the end, what we should be doing is to be true to our hearts and come to terms with it in a capable way. If you really want to look at someone, then your only option is to look at yourself squarely and deeply.

• Kôshi Takatsuki : Mr. Kafuku. I'm empty. There's nothing inside me. About the text questioning me... . I think I felt with Oto's screenplays. I came here because I want to feel it again. So... that bit about Oto bringing us together is true after all. I finally understand.

  Yûsuke Kafuku : Oto and I...

  Kôshi Takatsuki : Yes...

  Yûsuke Kafuku : We had a daughter. She died from pneumonia when she was four. She'd be 23 if she were alive. Our daughter's death marked the end of our happy times. Oto quit acting. I quit working in TV and returned to theater. Oto was letargic for years. But then she suddenly began writing stories one day. No, she began telling them. Her first story... was born after having sex with me. She suddenly started narrating it after having sex. But the next morning, her memory was foggy. I remembered it all, so I told her. She wrote a script based on it and sent it to a contest. It won an award and launched her career as a screenwriter. "That" would strike her at times after sex. She'd tell it to me and make me remember it. The next morning, I'd tell her. She'd take notes. Eventually that became our custom. Sex and her stories were strongly connected. Even if it didn't seem like it. She'd grasp a thread of a story from the edge of orgasm and spin it. That's how she used to write. Not all the time. But whenever her career hit a wall, "that" would strike. Those stories became a bond that helped us overcome our child's death. I think we were a compatible couple. We needed each other to get through life. Everyday living and our sex life were very fulfilling. At least they were for me. But... Oto saw other men.

  [on Misake] 

  Yûsuke Kafuku : She's fine, don't worry. Oto slept with other men. Not just one. Probably with the actors who were cast in the dramas she wrote. Each relationship ended with the drama, and another would begin another drama started.

  Kôshi Takatsuki : Do you have evidence?

  Yûsuke Kafuku : I've witnessed them before. She sometimes brought them into our home. Even so, I've never doubted her love for me. There was no doubt. Oto betrayed me so naturally while she loved me. We were definitely deeply bonded more so than anyone. Still, she contained within her a spot that I couldn't look into, where something had swirled.

  Kôshi Takatsuki : Didn't you ever ask her about any of this?

  Yûsuke Kafuku : What I feared most was losing her. If she found out I knew, we wouldn't have been able to mantain our balance.

  Kôshi Takatsuki : Isn't it possible that she wanted you to hear her out?

  Yûsuke Kafuku : Did Otto tell you something?

  Kôshi Takatsuki : May I tell you a story she told me?

  Yûsuke Kafuku : Yes.

  Kôshi Takatsuki : It's a very mysterious tale. A high school girl sneakes into the home of a boy she likes.

  Yûsuke Kafuku : I've heard that one, too. The girl who was formerly a lamprey.

  Kôshi Takatsuki : Right. She sneaks in multiple times and leaves a token of herself each time.

  Yûsuke Kafuku : One day, she starts masturbating on Yamaga's bed. Someone comes home, but the story ends without telling who it was.

  Kôshi Takatsuki : No. It doesn't end there.

  Yûsuke Kafuku : You know what happens next?

  Kôshi Takatsuki : Yes.

  Yûsuke Kafuku : Who was it, then? Who came up the stairs?

  Kôshi Takatsuki : Another intruder.

  Yûsuke Kafuku : Another one?

  Kôshi Takatsuki : Yes. It wasn't Yamaga, or his father, or his mother. Just a burglar. The burglar finds her half naked in the room and attempts to rape her. She takes a pen lying around and stabs the man in the left eye. She struggles desperately, and stabs the pen in his temple, in his neck, over and over. She notices the man has gone limp. She has killed the burglar. She washes the blood off in the shower and goes home. The token she left on Yamaga's room that day was the burglar's corpse. The next morning, she goes to school prepared to confess everything to Yamaga and face his judgment. But Yamaga looks the same as usual at school that day. She sees him play soccer after school seemingly carefree as always. Things are the same the next day. Nothing has changed. What became of that body in Yamaga's house? Did she just imagined what happened? She goes to Yamaga's house but nothing seems out of the ordinary. Except for one thing... A surveillance camera has been set up by the front door. To not appear guilty, she walks past his house without stopping. Something terrible had happened and she was to blame, but the world seemed serene as if nothing had changed. However, the world had definitely changed to something sinister. She turns back. "I must take responsability for what I've done. I can't pretend it didn't happen. Because it definitely happened. I definitely killed that man." She searches under the planter but the key is no longer there. She stares at the surveillance camera. Because it's the only change she has elicited in this world. She looks into the lens repeats her words over and over. Clearly, so that she's understood. "I killed him! I killed him! I killed him!" This is as far as I know. Maybe the tale ends there, or maybe it continues. The story leaves a bad taste, but even so, when I heard it from her, I felt that Oto had handed me something important. Mr. Kafuku. As far as I know, Oto was a really lovely woman. Of course, what I know must be a tiny fraction of what you know about her. But I still think so with certainty. You lived with such a lovely person for over 20 years, and you should be grateful about that. That's my opinion. But even if you think you know someone well, even if you love that person deeply, you can't completely look into that person's heart. You'll just feel hurt. But if you put in enough effort, you should be able to look into your own heart pretty well. So in the end, what we should be doing is to be true to our hearts and come to terms with it in a capable way. If you really want to look at someone, then your only option is to look at yourself squarely and deeply. That's what I think.

• Kôshi Takatsuki : I actually sometimes do a search on your name online. That's how I found this audition, and that day was the deadline. Isn't that amazing?

  Yûsuke Kafuku : Why are you interested in me?

  Kôshi Takatsuki : I really liked acting out Oto's screenplays. Saying her lines made me happy.

  Yûsuke Kafuku : My theater projects and Oto's screenplays are different things.

  Kôshi Takatsuki : Yes. But when I saw your play that time, I felt that what you two were doing were the same, albeit in different ways.

  Yûsuke Kafuku : How so?

  Kôshi Takatsuki : Tough question. I get the feeling that you both value the finer details that people won't even notice. I actually like things like that. But I wouldn't have know if I hadn't acted out Oto's scripts. When I saw the casting call, I knew this was my only chance. I'm not sure if you know, but I'm working freelance now.

  Yûsuke Kafuku : I know. Though in my case I didn't have to look you up.

  Kôshi Takatsuki : Is that so. That's embarassing. How stupid.

  Yûsuke Kafuku : You were a star.

  Kôshi Takatsuki : No, I was framed.

  Yûsuke Kafuku : Do you do things like that often?

  Kôshi Takatsuki : Things like what?

  Yûsuke Kafuku : With women you barely know.

  Kôshi Takatsuki : Don't you?

  Yûsuke Kafuku : No.

  Kôshi Takatsuki : Lots of women must approach you, too.

  Yûsuke Kafuku : All you have to do is say no.

  Kôshi Takatsuki : I don't do it with just anybody, either. If you click and want to get to know her better... Not ever?

  Yûsuke Kafuku : Sex isn't the only way to get to know someone.

  Kôshi Takatsuki : But some things you can't know unless you do it.

  Yûsuke Kafuku : Like what?

  Kôshi Takatsuki : Like...

  [laughs] 

  Yûsuke Kafuku : What's the matter?

  Kôshi Takatsuki : Just that... Why am I talking to you about this? Oto must have been happy with a husband like you.

  Yûsuke Kafuku : I wonder.

  Kôshi Takatsuki : If you don't mind, could you tell me something about her?

  Yûsuke Kafuku : Something about her?

  Kôshi Takatsuki : How you two met, how she wrote her screenplays, everyday conversations. Anything.

  Yûsuke Kafuku : Here's what you're thinking: "He and I share the same pain, because we loved the same woman."

  Kôshi Takatsuki : Oh please. Mine was just an unrequited longing.

  Yûsuke Kafuku : You were in love with her.

  Kôshi Takatsuki : I don't deny it. She was lovely. Very much so.

  Yûsuke Kafuku : Yeah.

  Kôshi Takatsuki : So I'm jealous of you, Mr. Kafuku. Forgive me.

  Yûsuke Kafuku : You're jealous of me?

• Kôshi Takatsuki : About today... what happened? Between Janice and Yoon-A.

  Yûsuke Kafuku : Only they know the answer to that. One thing I can say is that this text has the power to make that happen.

  Kôshi Takatsuki : Mr. Kafuku, why aren't you playing Vanya yourself?

  Yûsuke Kafuku : Chekhov is terrifying. When you say his lines, it drags out the real you. Don't you feel it? I can't bear that anymore. Which means I can no longer yield myself up to this role.

  Kôshi Takatsuki : But then, why me? I feel out of place in this production. I'm not suited for this role. I'm sure the audience will feel the same way. When I auditioned, I was desperate and in shambles. I didn't know what I was doing. So why did you choose me?

  Yûsuke Kafuku : Oto brought us together.

  Kôshi Takatsuki : Please don't be glib. I'm serious. I came here to change myself.

  Yûsuke Kafuku : You can't control yourself very well.

  Kôshi Takatsuki : Right.

  Yûsuke Kafuku : From a social standpoint, that's not good. But it's not necesarily a drawback for an actor. During your audition and our sessions, you weren't bad. You can yield yourself to your cast mate. Do the same to the text. Yield yourself and respond to the text.

  Kôshi Takatsuki : Respond to it?

  Yûsuke Kafuku : The text is questioning you. If you listen to it and respond, the same will happen to you.