The Inbetweeners (TV Series)

Will's Birthday (2009)

Vladimir Consigny: Patrice

Quotes 

• Will McKenzie : Look, I put a lot of effort into this! I made a really nice coq au vin.

  Jay Cartwright : [laughs]  Cock of what?

  Simon Cooper : You don't help yourself, do you?

  Will McKenzie : [sarcastically]  Oh yes, I see, 'coq' au vin, very mature! It actually means chicken in wine, doesn't it, Patrice?

  Patrice : [bored]  Quoi?

  Will McKenzie : Well, it does, and it doesn't mean cock up my arse, or cock on my head, or...

  Simon Cooper : ...you got some cock in the back of a van?

  Will McKenzie : Or that I got some cock in the back of a van. Look, all I wanted was a nice, civilized and sophisticated dinner party, just something a little different from the usual parties, maybe even the sort of party that girls are impressed by! O.K., so there aren't any girls here, but why don't we at least attempt to have a sophisticated conversation? I know it's a tall order, and I'm not expecting sparkling, but let's give it a go, eh, since it is my FUCKING BIRTHDAY!

  [everyone sits in chastened silence for a while] 

  Neil Sutherland : How much Lego can you stick up your bum?

  Will McKenzie : Oh, for Christ's sake!

  Neil Sutherland : How much Lego can you get up your bum? Didn't you do it as a kid? Just a triangle one and a long one? Maybe a few singles?

  Jay Cartwright : You are grim, mate.