- Lee Evans: [about a man who speaks really loudly on a cillit bang advert] He must have really nervous kids at home, he'd be reading them a bedtime story at night: Once upon a time... there was a dirty toilet!
- Lee Evans: I was watching a Mcdonalds advert and Ronald Mcdonald, the clown fella you see on the adverts, does he own the company because his name's Ronald Mcdonald. I can't imagine what he's like at board meetings:
- Lee Evans: So boss, what's the plan for next year?
- Lee Evans: I dunno, fuck it. HONK HONK!
- Lee Evans: He can't have a go at someone for not taking work seriously you know.
- Lee Evans: Who put that bucket of water on top of my door?
- Lee Evans: It was me.
- Lee Evans: Do it again. HONK HONK!