- Kenny Powers: I never got into the Native American mythology. You can smoke the peace pipe till your dick falls off, but I'm not dancin with any wolves no matter how high I get. Not that I get high, but if i did my shit would still believe in our lord and savior Jesus Christ"
- Kenny Powers: I've been blessed with many things in this life: an arm like a damn rocket, a cock like a burmese python, and the mind of a fucking scientist.
- Kenny Powers: I need you to score me some juice.
- Clegg: What do you mean? Like from the store?
- Kenny Powers: No, you idiot. Steroids!
- Kenny Powers: So, besides getting shot in the back of the head do you know what else Abraham Lincoln did? He was a champion wrestler in high school and no, I'm not making that up.
- Kenny Powers: If there's one thing I hate it's losing. If there's two things I hate it's losing and getting cancer.
- Kenny Powers: Smashing a brick through a dude's window is nothing compared to the things I've done. I've killed people.
- Kenny Powers: People say Kenny Powers is a woman hater. That's not true. I love women. Every fucking one of them, even the ugly as shit ones. But don't ask me to trust 'em. Not even nuns, because every pair of tits comes with a gaping hole of need that even Kenny Powers can't fill.
- Kenny Powers: I need you to score me some juice.
- Clegg: You mean, like from the store?
- Kenny Powers: No mother fucker! I'm talking about roids. Don't act like you don't know about drugs when you do!