- Doug Judy: [Rapping] Doug and Jake rolling down the street...
- Jake Peralta: PB and J, a tasty little treat...
- Doug Judy: Two cool dudes making sandals for your feet...
- Jake Peralta: [Stops rapping] What?
- Doug Judy: I was going for the rhyme, but now I kind of feel like it's a good idea.
- Jake Peralta: Love it!
- [Continues to rap]
- Jake Peralta: Making sandals that last is our ideology / Made real by our patented, strapless technology
- [Stops rapping]
- Jake Peralta: It's magnets.
- Doug Judy: Okay!
- [Raps]
- Doug Judy: Yo, you can wear 'em on the beach...
- Jake Peralta: Wear 'em on a hike...
- Doug Judy: Wear 'em on a Peloton exercise bike...
- Doug Judy, Jake Peralta: Doug and Jake, two best friends / With the premium, open-toed shoes for men! Rah!
- Charles Boyle: Jake, by trusting him you're putting your job on the line, which means you're also putting my job on the line.
- Jake Peralta: How so?
- Charles Boyle: Because if you get fired, I will swim out into the ocean until I'm too tired to swim back and I will sink to the bottom and then I won't have a job.
- Trudy Judy: What's up, Peralta?
- Jake Peralta: Hey, Trudy Judy and dog Judy. What's going on? Are you puppy sitting for Doug?
- Trudy Judy: Well, I was, but I need you to take him for me, because I'm going on a little vacay, and let's just say there's going to be some activities that aren't suitable for a little dog.
- [really sexy voice]
- Trudy Judy: Mm!
- [beat]
- Trudy Judy: Like parasailing.
- Amy Santiago: Oh. Thought you were building to something much more sexual.
- Trudy Judy: Nope, just really pumped for parasailing. Also, there's gonna be a lot of --bleep--, but the dog's okay with that.
- Doug Judy: Jake Peralta, do I have an earring?
- Jake Peralta: Um, what?
- Doug Judy: You heard me. We've been in the car for three hours. You've known me for seven years. Do I have an earring?
- Jake Peralta: Oh, no. I'm drawing a blank. I can kind of picture a diamond stud.
- Doug Judy: That'd be a good look.
- Jake Peralta: Or maybe a gold cross or a little hoop.
- Doug Judy: I do have versatile ears.