- John Casey: Don't be a hero on this one, Bartowski. Leave it to the pros!
- Chuck Bartowski: Excuse me, I *am* a pro! My job is a certified Computer and Electronics Technician.
- Cole Parker: Great cover.
- John Casey: It's not a cover. It's his life.
- John Casey: General, we have a situation. I need surveillance from a NASA satellite.
- General Diane Beckman: What's going on, Agent Casey?
- John Casey: FULCRUM'S captured the asset. I suspect he's being tortured.
- General Diane Beckman: Dear God, he'll never last.
- Cole Parker: What level is his pain tolerance?
- Sarah Walker: I'd say about a one out of ten.
- Chuck Bartowski: WHAT? A *one*? I'd say I'm least an eight!
- Sarah Walker: Chuck, the torture hasn't started yet.
- Chuck Bartowski: This is the pre-torture? Okay, okay. Put me down for a one.
- Devon 'Captain Awesome' Woodcomb: Yeah, sometimes you gotta play hard to get. Cold and detached is a very powerful aphrodisiac, babe.
- Ellie Bartowski: So is abstinence, you want to try it?
- Devon 'Captain Awesome' Woodcomb: [Devon looks at Chuck] Not getting involved.
- Chuck Bartowski: [to Sarah, as she's cutting up some bananas] Look, it's not you, it's me.
- John Casey: [Casey enters] Probably not the best idea to give the "It's not you, it's me" speech to a trained assassin wielding a knife.
- Chuck Bartowski: I was warming up into a more original territory, all right? Can you give us a moment, Casey?
- Chuck Bartowski: I think we should break up.
- Sarah Walker: Is that what you really want?
- Chuck Bartowski: Yes, it is.
- John Casey: Great! The most annoying romance in my life is finally over. Downstairs now. Come on!
- Morgan Grimes: Uh, why on God's green Earth would he ever, *ever* break up with Sarah?
- Devon 'Captain Awesome' Woodcomb: Ask Ellie, it was her idea.
- Morgan Grimes: Really?
- Ellie Bartowski: What? He said that he didn't think she was the one.
- Morgan Grimes: [Morgan sighs] There are a few precious things I know anything about in this world. Chuck's one of them. Believe me, Sarah's the one.
- Ellie Bartowski: How do you know?
- Morgan Grimes: How do I know? It's all over the kid's face. When Chuck is around Sarah, he is the Chuck we always dreamed of, all right? The Chuck that has the potential to do anything in the world.
- Cole Parker: Do you really think the C.I.A. would put its entire database of secrets in his head? He's a pathetic weakling. How could they send him on assignments? How could even withstand torture?
- Sarah Walker: It's true. He's just a Computer and Electronics Technician, a brave one, but he's not the Intersect!
- Alexis: Then who is?
- Cole Parker: Me! I'm the Intersect!
- Chuck Bartowski: NO he's not! It's me! Okay and I resent the fact that I couldn't stand up to torture. Do your worst. In fact, you could stick that incredibly long needle in my eye and I still wouldn't tell you anything!
- Sarah Walker: Chuck, he knows you're the Intersect. We have to go into 24 hour protective detail until further notice.
- Chuck Bartowski: What exactly does that mean?
- Sarah Walker: It means we can't break up. And we have to move in together.
- [Noticing Ellie, Awesome and Morgan]
- Sarah Walker: Well, Ellie's watching, we'd better sell it.
- [They hug]
- Chuck Bartowski: Are you sure about this? I mean he's a really tough guy. Maybe he won't talk.
- Sarah Walker: Chuck, everyone talks.
- Chuck Bartowski: Maybe there's a - maybe there's a better way to do this. You know, throw a sack over his head, drag him outside. Come on Casey, you're always - you're always up for a good mugging.
- John Casey: Can't risk his contact seeing us. What's the matter, Bartowski, afraid of a little competition?
- Ellie Bartowski: Morgan, what are you doing here?
- Morgan Grimes: Chuck didn't tell you? This is kind of embarrassing. My mom is uh, romantically involved with my boss from work. So I need a place to stay.
- Devon 'Captain Awesome' Woodcomb: Big Mike's banging Bolonia?
- Ellie Bartowski: Gross, honey.
- Alexis: We will try... a different approach. Tell me who the Intersect is by three... or I inject Agent Walker with enough Ricin to kill an army!... One... two...
- Cole Parker, Chuck Bartowski: It's me!
- Cole Parker: Well, I guess I better be heading out. Chuck, thanks for risking your life for me. Don't ever do it again.
- Chuck Bartowski: Don't worry, I won't.
- Chuck Bartowski: Ellie, Awesome, I have made a very important decision. I am moving out...
- Ellie Bartowski: [Ellie gasps] Yes!
- Chuck Bartowski: And moving in with Morgan.
- Ellie Bartowski: NO!
- Devon 'Captain Awesome' Woodcomb: Whoa!
- Morgan Grimes: Evening.
- Devon 'Captain Awesome' Woodcomb: Talk about low hanging fruit!
- Ellie Bartowski: Oh my God! I'm going to kill Chuck!
- Morgan Grimes: Didn't Chuck tell you I sleep - in the - in the buff?
- John Casey: Our turn now. We get to find out everything *you* know about FULCRUM!
- Alexis: No, you won't.
- John Casey: Trust me babe, everyone talks.
- Alexis: I know.
- [Alexis injects herself with the ricin]
- John Casey: NO!
- Alexis: Fulcrum wins.