Chuck (TV Series)

Chuck Versus the Beefcake (2009)

Zachary Levi: Chuck Bartowski

Photos 

Quotes 

• John Casey : Don't be a hero on this one, Bartowski. Leave it to the pros!

  Chuck Bartowski : Excuse me, I *am* a pro! My job is a certified Computer and Electronics Technician.

  Cole Parker : Great cover.

  John Casey : It's not a cover. It's his life.

• Cole Parker : What level is his pain tolerance?

  Sarah Walker : I'd say about a one out of ten.

  Chuck Bartowski : WHAT? A *one*? I'd say I'm least an eight!

  Sarah Walker : Chuck, the torture hasn't started yet.

  Chuck Bartowski : This is the pre-torture? Okay, okay. Put me down for a one.

• Chuck Bartowski : [to Sarah, as she's cutting up some bananas]  Look, it's not you, it's me.

  John Casey : [Casey enters]  Probably not the best idea to give the "It's not you, it's me" speech to a trained assassin wielding a knife.

  Chuck Bartowski : I was warming up into a more original territory, all right? Can you give us a moment, Casey?

• Chuck Bartowski : I think we should break up.

  Sarah Walker : Is that what you really want?

  Chuck Bartowski : Yes, it is.

  John Casey : Great! The most annoying romance in my life is finally over. Downstairs now. Come on!

• Cole Parker : Do you really think the C.I.A. would put its entire database of secrets in his head? He's a pathetic weakling. How could they send him on assignments? How could even withstand torture?

  Sarah Walker : It's true. He's just a Computer and Electronics Technician, a brave one, but he's not the Intersect!

  Alexis : Then who is?

  Cole Parker : Me! I'm the Intersect!

  Chuck Bartowski : NO he's not! It's me! Okay and I resent the fact that I couldn't stand up to torture. Do your worst. In fact, you could stick that incredibly long needle in my eye and I still wouldn't tell you anything!

• Sarah Walker : Chuck, he knows you're the Intersect. We have to go into 24 hour protective detail until further notice.

  Chuck Bartowski : What exactly does that mean?

  Sarah Walker : It means we can't break up. And we have to move in together.

  [Noticing Ellie, Awesome and Morgan] 

  Sarah Walker : Well, Ellie's watching, we'd better sell it.

  [They hug] 

  Chuck Bartowski : Are you sure about this? I mean he's a really tough guy. Maybe he won't talk.

  Sarah Walker : Chuck, everyone talks.

• Chuck Bartowski : Maybe there's a - maybe there's a better way to do this. You know, throw a sack over his head, drag him outside. Come on Casey, you're always - you're always up for a good mugging.

  John Casey : Can't risk his contact seeing us. What's the matter, Bartowski, afraid of a little competition?

• Alexis : We will try... a different approach. Tell me who the Intersect is by three... or I inject Agent Walker with enough Ricin to kill an army!... One... two...

  Cole Parker , Chuck Bartowski : It's me!

• Cole Parker : Well, I guess I better be heading out. Chuck, thanks for risking your life for me. Don't ever do it again.

  Chuck Bartowski : Don't worry, I won't.

• Chuck Bartowski : Ellie, Awesome, I have made a very important decision. I am moving out...

  Ellie Bartowski : [Ellie gasps]  Yes!

  Chuck Bartowski : And moving in with Morgan.

  Ellie Bartowski : NO!