Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus (2009 Video) User Reviews

I had forgotten movies could be this bad

[buckramega · 2/10 · 30 May 2009]

I normally only watch the bigger budget movies with a few art house type sprinkled in, but I had heard about this title somewhere, so when I saw it at the video store I thought, what the heck? how bad could it be? The answer: Amazingly bad. Phenomenally bad. Utterly horrific. Not the worst movie ever, but close. When your movie wishes it was as good as Battlefield Earth, you know you have a problem. It wasn't even the good kind of bad, where you can laugh at the unintentional humor.

The good: Still trying to come up with something The bad: I know this is a low budget D-list movie, but come on - the effects and CGI were stunningly bad. They looked like they were done on my laptop over a weekend. They might have been acceptable in the early 90s.

To make it even worse, many of the CGI scenes were constantly repeated. Whenever the shark or octopus attacked, you usually saw it preparing or approaching for the attack several times using the exact same footage. Sometimes they even bothered to mirror image the scene to make it look different.

So many of the details were amazingly unrealistic. The dialogue was bad, the way people behaved and delivered lines, physics (as in what animals of that size could actually do), torpedoes were like firecrackers, etc.

Quality control was obviously lacking. When the shark approaches a battleship from the side, the ship is shown firing forward. Once, during a video call, for about a second a film crew member wearing a headset pops into existence beside the person on the call, and then disappears. The caller and those working in the background are obviously oblivious to this phantom man.

There was this laughably bad science scene where the main characters keep dumping vials of various colored liquids into test tubes of other colored stuff and then they all looked disappointed. This happened over and over for like 5 minutes. All without any dialogue or any clue as to what they were actually doing. We only knew they were looking for a "solution" to the problem of giant sea monsters. I guess dumping red goo into a vat of blue gunk and having it not turn a different color is not a solution to giant sea monsters. Gosh, I am glad they tried that, it might have worked! There was an embarrassingly bad romance side plot thrown in, and the build up to the final showdown was dull, and then that showdown was short and filled with repeats of the same footage over and over.

I almost never feel strongly enough about a movie to write a review, but for this one I had to. If I prevent even one person from seeing this movie, then I have done my job.

A masterpiece!

[Jimmyp89 · 1/10 · 13 October 2009]

This film cannot be taken seriously. My rating applies merely to the acting, special effects and plot of the film. If you were to watch this film drunk it would be the greatest film ever, sadly i didn't. I learned many things from watching this film;

• If you are getting married the next day, then don't fly

• Sharks can jump 30,000 feet out of the water

• The Golden Gate bridge vs Megalodon = no contest

• Sharks can travel at 500 knots but Submarines can outrun them

• Oil Rig vs Octopus = only one winner

• Jet vs octopus = take a guess

• The US naval fleet would last approximately 10 seconds against an octopus

• If a gap is 25 metres wide, a submarine is 22.5 metres wide and a shark is 4 times wider than the submarine, will the shark make it through the gap = Easily

• It took 3 scientists a day to work out that a tooth was in fact a tooth

• If it doesn't appear on the radar then it is terminated, end of!

• The blonde woman in it is hot and easy

Only More Monster Footage Could Save a "Movie" This Horrible

[curtis-8 · 1/10 · 24 June 2009]

This is one incredibly bad direct to video monster flick (though "bad direct to video monster flick" is probably a redundant term). It has all the classic earmark of the worst DTV has to offer--horrible screenplay, idiotic dialog, lots of talking in lieu of action, that incredibly annoying "avid fart" digital editing, bad grade z cast, Ed Wood level acting and directing, and GC effects that any grade schooler would almost be proud of. Now, this piece of S could have been entertaining despite the abundance of retarded MST3K-worthy acting, writing and direction if ONLY they had sprung for more than five minutes of footage featuring the title monsters. Imagine if King Kong V Godzilla had only featured the title monsters in short three to five second blips and the all out battle between them takes all of eleven seconds from start to finish. Now double how much that would suck and that would be the equivalent of this "film."

To sum up--and incredibly bad, incredibly amateur hunk of junk that would be moronically entertaining if it just weren't so damned boring.

Words cannot describe this awe-inspiring production

[MartianOctocretr5 · 4/10 · 30 August 2009]

And you thought Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster was the greatest monster battle ever recorded on film.

This is ineptitude at its comedic utmost, with a Plan 9 from Outer Space result: you either laugh at its level of inane silliness, hate it for the same reason, or just fall asleep while watching.

The plot: what plot? This script is pretty much a stew of ideas from other goofy monster monstrosities with pre-historic creatures occasionally showing up, brain-dead military that ineffectively shoot everything they have, useless scientists who apparently got their degrees from an on-line certification service, panicky mobs with screaming extras, hokey effects, intentionally moronic dialog, and pathetically atrocious acting. The cast knows it's campy to the extreme, and play along.

60 million years from now, when another species does archaeological digging, they may find a DVD of this. What will move them emotionally the greatest? The sensitive portrayal of "scientist" Debbie Gibson and the Japanese scientist guy making out in a broom closet? The said same scientists experimenting with different flavors of Gatorade (what were they trying to accomplish in that scene, anyway)? Perhaps the five minute struggle between the enormous sea creatures (only seen in periodic choppy three-second out-takes), or that dumb ponytail that Lorenzo Lamas still has?

Also, which of these inspired performances will be awarded the Oscar? The high-flying mega-shark that can swim at 500 knots, or leap 5 miles into the air and snag a plane moving at about 600 miles an hour? Or the big octopus, that swims around aimlessly with such precision? Debbie Gibson's line chewing while constantly pointing her nose directly into the camera? The mono-tonal Japanese scientist guy? Or Lamas, who utters delightfully uproarious quips in your ears every 15 seconds? Words in the English dictionary simply cannot adequately describe the sensitive portrayals in this film.

I hope future generations will experience this landmark cinema and utilize it as an insight of the sophistication of our present-day culture. I'd also like to see the looks on their faces.

Deficient Production, absurd script!!!

[pscborges · 2/10 · 23 January 2010]

My God, how easy it is to dumb down! Some movies exist only to create the parameter of imperfection, of disability, passing, and, looming as a value of unworthiness, low-level even. When I watched "The forgotten ones" I thought I had reached the lowest level in terms of production and script for horror movies and adventure, until I see this. They talked about budget deficit, but, judging by what I see, it seemed a failed launching of a film by amateur, novice students as a college theater. Everything in this film is designed to impact the idealistic concept and intuitive to good work, good movie, good story, the viewer. frustrating mistake. The end, one gets the feeling of lost hours in front of the screen and a horrible feeling that the film has exhausted all its capabilities and, above all, his wonderful ability to make dreams without ridicule or mediocre.

"It Rises!"

[MetalGeek · 5/10 · 10 August 2009]

I'm sure that most of the people who have seen this film were suckered in by the trailer, which became an Internet viral-video smash earlier this year. How could you not want to see it after watching the clip of a gargantuan shark jumping out of the ocean and attacking an airliner? Giant Monster Movies have always brought out my inner 8 year old, and "Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus" was no exception. Is it a good movie? Of course not. But is it a fun movie? Oh, hell yes. For Z-grade direct to video aficionados like myself, this flick is manna from Heaven. I've read much about the notorious production house "The Asylum" (and its celebrated "mockbuster" ripoffs of more famous movies) over the past few months but this is the first film of theirs I've seen. I hate to admit it, but after seeing "Mega Shark" I am now curious enough to investigate some of their other works like "Transmorphers" or "The Terminators". (I must be in dire need of medication.) As you'd expect from a movie made on a six-pack budget, "Mega Shark" is not exactly a feast for the eyes. The special effects are minimal (done mostly in cheap C.G.I.), and the title monsters tend to look like bathtub toys swimming around in dirty dishwater. The human cast isn't much more interesting, although former '80s teen queen Deborah (a.k.a. Debbie) Gibson seems to be having fun with her role as a crusading oceanographer who is pressed into government service (by perennial Direct To Video mainstay Lorenzo Lamas) to help rid the oceans of the two monstrous creatures. Teamed up with her former professor (played by an Irishman doing what appears to be a low-rent Sean Connery imitation) and a Japanese colleague (played by an Asian guy doing an equally low rent George Takei imitation), the three spout a near endless stream of unintentionally hilarious dialog (at least I hope it's unintentional) to pad out run time between the too-short scenes of monstrous mayhem. Mega Shark devours a hunk of the Golden Gate Bridge in addition to his airliner snack, whilst Giant Octopus destroys an offshore oil rig, then the pair team up to destroy a few battleships and submarines full of overacting extras before they turn on each other in what is supposed to be a Battle Royale but in reality takes up approximately two minutes of film. A romantic sub-plot between Debbie and Japanese Scientist Guy is jammed in out of nowhere, apparently so that Debbie has someone to snuggle up with on the beach at the end of the film. Needless to say, I laughed my way through the entire movie. Now that I think about it, The Asylum probably should've teamed with Toho Productions to make this film -- I can only imagine what the "Godzilla" special effects team could've done with this concept. Basically, if you're a lover of bad monster cinema, you need to see "Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus" at least once. Otherwise, you're better off sticking with watching the trailer over and over on YouTube. All the best parts of the movie are in it anyway.

Possibly the worst film i have ever watched

[FictionalPulp · 1/10 · 26 December 2009]

When the name of the film is "mega shark vs giant octopus" you know that it isn't going to be a great film, but the unimaginative name is no preparation how awful this film is.

The script sounds like it had been forgotten till the night before there's certain lines where you think, "are they trying to be funny or is it just that bad" the first day of filming and the CGI looks like its from the early 90's not to mention that most the CGI scenes were repeated numerous times with slight differences but the fact the scene was repeated was more obvious than the differences.

It seems like they have decided to steal scenes from other films or footage from somewhere and throw it in the film. there's a scene when the "mega shark" attacks a battle ship from the side and the battle ships guns are still facing forward with flashing lights badly edited on the front of them which failed to create the illusion that they are firing anyway.

The thing that amazed me the most was the fact the film was made in 2009 when i first started watching it i thought it must of been made at the latest 2003.

If there's a film you shouldn't watch this is it

Agonizing

[moviesleuth2 · 1/10 · 9 March 2010]

Watching a movie for camp value is a risky thing. To be sure, there are many movies that embrace their silliness and play up their camp value, but sometimes the best campy movies are the ones that take themselves too seriously without realizing that they're completely absurd to begin with. After viewing "Tale of the Mummy," and finally recognizing the virtues of an "unintentionally funny" movie, my friend and I decided to try again, this time with a movie whose title, "Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus" is so lame that the movie could only be campy fun...or so we thought.

Putting it bluntly, this is the worst movie I have ever seen. No amount of alcohol or other substance can bring out any entertainment value from this piece of crap. The acting is awful, the dialogue is a waste of printer paper, the special effects are an embarrassment, and worst of all, the movie doesn't make any sense. We hardly ever get to see the headlining stars, and when we do, they're just crude CGI effects that are repeated over and over again.

I'd describe the plot, but there it isn't coherent enough to begin with. All that I can tell you is that an ancient species of shark, the Megalodon (an actual species of shark, and that's the only thing that this movie gets right) and a king-sized octopus (that looks more like a squid) were found locked in battle in a giant ice cube. Somehow, they escape, and start terrorizing Japan and San Francisco. Now, it's up to three scientists to stop them.

The acting is awful. 80's pop star Deborah Gibson fares the best, although that's hardly praise. Vic Chao is horrible as her newfound love interest. Surprisingly, this is the only plot line that is coherent, and judging by how much we hate these two characters, that's not a good thing. Lorenzo Lamas is the worst of the lot as the idiot military guy, who wants to blow everything away instead of listening to the scientists (which, judging by their plan, is probably the smarter thing to do, except the movie expects us to sympathize with the moronic scientists...I guess gung-ho military types aren't all that bad).

This is what happens when you make a 200 million dollar epic for less than a dime. Camera shots are obviously repeated (sometimes the monsters are left out of a shot when they're supposed to be destroying something), the acting is grating, and the dialogue is cringe inducing. Even the extras look embarrassed, and they don't say anything. One could argue that this film might have worked with a bigger budget. The truth of the matter is, however creatively bankrupt Hollywood is, no one in the right mind would read this script without first running it through the paper shredder and burning all remnants of its existence.

Words cannot adequately describe how awful this movie is. Physical pain is almost pleasurable compared to the agony that this movie causes. This movie is hard to find, but it should be impossible. This movie should have never been made.

Chock one up for the Asian scientist!

[ElijahCSkuggs · 5/10 · 16 May 2009]

Okay, first off. You should know right away if this movie is for you or not. Did you watch and enjoy Shark Attack 3? Do you find plot holes, crappy acting and awful cgi funny? Hell yeah?! Then this is for you. If you don't enjoy any of those things, then move right along and let us laugh alone.

Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus is a title this guy just couldn't pass up. Though, to be honest, I kinda wanted to. But after some deep thought, I realized it has a mega shark and a giant octopus fighting. Plus it has Lorenzo Lamas....the action star version of Kenny G. And not surprisingly after finishing up the flick, it was exactly what I expected it to be like. Crap. Funny crap.

Starts off with ex-pop star Debbie Gibson manning a stolen underwater submersible. Her and her pudgy pal are tracking pods of whales in I think it was Japan....not sure. If they didn't tell us exactly where they were every few scenes I would've been kinda confused. Anyways, she's piloting this thing....ya know, thinking back there were White-tip reef sharks in the same scene as the ice-bergs....yeah, that doesn't make sense. Okay, well, something goes wrong with the whales and they accidentally bump into this huge ice capsule that has a, you guessed it, mega shark aka megalodon and a giant octopus aka Gigantopus. They're free now and they immediately set out to cause havoc. Snatching air planes outta the sky, demolishing off-shore oil rigs....and a few other ridiculous things. So what's the plan? What should our rag-tag team of scientists do with these meddlesome creatures of the deep? Find out in, *large booming voice* Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus!

The flick is really just a piece of crap. But it's undeniably ridiculous, thus making it funny. I never knew submarine captains were complete and utter idiots. The first submarine captain believed they killed the megalodon, but even though from his skipper (?) telling him it's not destroyed, the captain keeps repeating "target destroyed" all proud and sh!t. Then the shark attacks and he does the ever awesome, "Nooooooooo!!" I think we actually get a couple long drawn out screams of death like that. Yeeeeeesssss!! This flick is full of stupid scenes. Take for example the helicopter pilot in the beginning....crashes for no reason whatsoever. Or how about the scientists trying to create a formula to solve their shark/octopus dilemma. Mixing colors has never been more difficult. You knew as soon as they made a "cool" color, they're experiment worked....predictable silly stuff like that rules this flick. And I thank them for that.

One thing that really got me thinking in this flick was the love interest issue. You got the hot yet ditsy scientist played by Debbie Gibson falling for the geeky Asian scientist. That's amazing! I haven't seen a male Asian get a Caucasian female since Dragon: The Bruce Lee story. I gotta give Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus big credit for that one. Though I'm still waiting for the day I see a hot black chick go for the Asian dude. (Rumble in the Bronx doesn't count!) Still haven't seen that yet. You'll never see it in real-life, that's for sure. Back to the love issue in the movie, you had the two love birds, but then you have the other older scientist who taught Debbie everything she knows on the back burner. It seemed to me, that he felt very left out. There was even this weird scene with just the two of them on the beach and he tells her how proud he is of her. I thought he was trying to confess his love, but he just used the absolute wrong words. Romantic setting, alone, dealing with monster sea creatures, this is the best time to tell her how you feel, but instead you pussy it up and tell her you're proud of her. Wuss. You're supposed to tell her she's been amazing and beautiful, and she's important to you. Then you're supposed to grab her and stare deep into her eyes, glancing at her lips, then it's time to suck face! Well, maybe not like that, but close to something like that. Don't even get me started on the awkward kiss on the cheek he planted on her.

I feel like I keep repeating myself when I tell you this movie's bad, but it's the truth. It's a stinker. But again, it delivers with some really silly and awful writing. This is the type of flick you could honestly make fun of scene by scene, from start to finish. I do gotta admit Lorenzo Lamas, the most seasoned actor outta the bunch, did a pretty good job as the bossy, overly anxious leader guy. Sorry, I don't know what his title was. And again, it seemed he wanted some Debbie Gibson ass as well, but that went nowhere as well. One scene he made some sexy faces at her I swear! Eh no matter, the Asian guy got her and that's all that matters. And that's the moral of the story, if you play your cards right, you can score with a member of an opposite race no problem.

Awful. Reviewed in 1 word...

[Reviewafilm · 2/10 · 23 May 2010]

Im giving it a 2 because it is a truly terrible film. But I have seen worse, amazingly enough.

however, the graphics are awful!! I don't know what people are on about it being amazing. I'm speaking particularly coburn-mark here. Oh. And you said film of the decade? 10/10 ? I think your letting your fantastical nerd side get the better of you there. Much of your better side...

I'm agreeing a lot with what buckramega has said. The build up to where either monster attacks the same image is being mirrored or zoomed. And what really ticks me off is that whenever an event takes place there are constant flashes, I'd assume to hide the bad graphics by making your eyes sore.

And the acting and dialogue made me cringe. It was like... No. Just no. It wasn't believable, nor was it satisfying to what you expect.

Yes yes, I know it's low budget but seriously. The line needs to be drawn somewhere, and this film crosses this line as if it was trying to grab first place in a race. If you had not payed to watch this film, that's fine. You've only lost a valuable hour or so of your life. If you payed, you've just losses money too.

This would have been good 30 years ago, but not in our time. Can I say good try? I'm not sure.

A Scintillating Cinematic Masterpiece

[coburn-mark · 10/10 · 21 August 2009]

Debbie Gibsons finest hour comes with a gritty, mesmerising performance in what has to be described as the film of the decade.

The plot, written by premier director Jack Perez, focuses on the age old undersea battle between the two aquatic giants of the sea, which, as we all know, is that of the Shark and the Octopus.

It was only after watching the film 8 times I was informed that the crisp special effects had been done using CGI......incredible! The shark is so lifelike i literally voided my bowels every time this nauseating monster came into shot Perhaps the biggest highlight, of this orgasmic blockbuster, is the romantic sub plot involving Gibson and Vic Chao. Thrown together in a time of world catastrophe the two scientists battle masterfully subtle feelings of sexual tension........now I don't want to spoil it for anyone, but lets just say there is a groundbreaking, red hot conclusion that will leave you shocked and stunned ;) The sequel, Massive Panda vs Quite Tall Aardvark, is due to hit our screens early in 2010, and, if this film is anything to go by, you will need to make advanced bookings at your local cinemas. During a private screening of the first rough cut, 31 people suffered crush injuries while fleeing in terror.

Trailer is way better than actual film

[thecomicbox · 6/10 · 17 May 2009]

This is definitely the film to see drunk with a few mates. Yeah it's pretty lame but what the heck... it's also a lot of fun. Suspend all belief and go with the schlock. The effects are pretty woeful but that's what makes it fun. Unfortunately the editing of all the major action is done so quickly that you don't get a chance to revel in it's outrageousness. Just when the creatures do something really cool like bite the Golden Gate bridge the scene cuts to something else. I want more from my "millions of years trapped in ice giant monsters of the deep." You also get the feeling that all involved know exactly what a pile of B grade celluloid they're turning out. Two thing I've learnt however is next time i fly I'll be looking out for massive leaping sharks and never call an octopus a squid. Surprisingly Debbie Gibson is really good... not as an octopus but as an actor. I'm now a fan. I can't wait for the sequel. It rises...

Intellectually insulting on every level... and complete crap

[kiawa77 · 1/10 · 29 August 2009]

Megalodon sharks, in real world history, grew up to 59 feet long, and their teeth had a diagonal length of roughly 7 inches (as opposed to the 11 FEET stated by the "expert" in the movie). Taking into account the actual megalodon fossils we have and cross-referencing them with the 11-foot tooth they claim to have found in the movie, a simple math ratio gives us a 1,112.5-foot shark. That's almost 4 football fields long.

A commercial airliner flying over the ocean would cruise somewhere between 25,000 and 40,000 feet. The minimum altitude is 2,000 above sea level when flying over sea, and (duh) no fish can jump that high out of water. The shark is simply far too massive to hurl itself 2,000 feet up out of the water into the air. By massive, I mean that the historical megalodon of the real world is estimated to weigh 70 metric tons or 77 short tons. You can extrapolate that for the sci-fi monster yourself ;)

Even with temporary suspension of disbelief, the shark would be fatally injured once it hit the water on the return fall. But I digress. I would comment on the giant octopus, but it'd be a waste of time. You get my point. This is just garbage.

So crappy science aside, the movie plain sucked (understatement). Wooden acting, an Irish accent that's about as steady as the stock market, no character development, people behaving in ways that just would not happen in real life, repeating undersea stock footage... except of course when you wanted some footage of the mighty monsters for which this movie was titled.

And Lorenzo Lamas showed up to say "sharkzilla". That's just terrific.

Don't waste your time. I repeat: SAVE YOURSELF! DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME!

Plan 9 of Today

[Michael_Elliott · 7 June 2009]

Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus (2009)

1/2 (out of 4)

In the good tradition of the grindhouse era, if you make a great title people are going to pay to see it. That's pretty much what happened with this horrid film, which became a cult item even before it was released due to the trailer being posted on YouTube and quickly becoming a hit. Once again I was suckered into a rental but hopefully others will stay away. The movie has a prehistoric shark and octopus breaking free, causing destruction and in the end fighting to the death. Oh yeah, Lorenzo Lamas and Debbie Gibson (yes, that one) star. Asylum, the group behind this movie, are experts at ripping off other movies with titles such as THE TERMINATORS, THE DAY THE EARTH STOPPED and STREET RACER. This here must have been their shot at doing something "original" but no matter what they were trying to do the end result is a complete mess of a movie, which features horrible acting and some of the worst CGI effects I've ever seen. This is the type of "B" movie that should make you laugh and at least deliver a good time but instead I walked away from this thing highly mad. Why? Because the thing is so cheap that they don't even include full attacks. We will see the shark jumping out of the water and attacking a plane yet we don't see the aftermath. The octopus attacks a large station yet we don't see what happens. The shark goes after a Navy ship, we see one bite but nothing else. There's a scene where the Golden Gate Bridge is attacked but we don't see it. Even the fight between the two monsters is extremely poorly done and that includes reusing the same footage over and over! The only reason this film avoids a BOMB rating is because of the scene where the shark jumps out of the water and attacks the plane. The sight of this is so incredibly bad that I couldn't help but start laughing. The performances are all really bad and that includes Gibson who seems to be confused by what she's doing. There are plenty of good "when nature attack" movies out there and there are many good "direct to DVD" titles out there but this sucker fails on both levels. This is a complete waste of time but at least the producers were smart enough to come up with a great title to get people like me to lay down their cash.

I Give it 2 stars just for the title of the movie

[atinder · 2/10 · 10 September 2009]

As I am huge fan of Killer Animals movies, Spiders, Crocdie , Octopus, Ant, Birds, Dogs, Slugs/Worms, Frogs, you name it, I would like it

I was so looking forward to this movie since i saw trailer but this movie was HUGE let down for me

You will have to seat thought 75 minutes of really BAD acting, (The acting is so bad that it make want to turn the movie off ) for the first Fight scene and I am sure they use the same scenes over and over and over again in the Fight it self was unbeliever RUBBISH and even bigger let down the whole movie

However You do get to see the Octupus and Shark before the Fight scene at different times out of the water!

I would rather watch Octupus 2 (2000) again instead of this!

2/10

With a title like this - how can you not be scared?

[vampyrecowboy · 2/10 · 13 May 2010]

Yes, it's Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus I believe that true talent shines with this cast and leads of course with everybody's favourite motorcycle rebel - Lorenzo Lamas. Casting his sheer energy to sparkle across a screen, his charm and elegance emblazoned on celluloid forever.

With a script, story and production so tight, so in-depth and intricate, how can you not be involved in the battle between Mega Shark and Giant Octopus? I feel that this story is about how we - the people are being sucked and mauled by our government and we have no idea how to handle the problems that keep us down.

The government tries to come up with solutions, but they don't have a clue and we are helpless to fight until all we can do is watch in terror as we prepare to die.

The government is trying to keep u s down and this is a fantastic story that really defines how true that really is.

By destroying our Eco system and bringing up problems which we can never deal with, we are put into the hands of those who are supposed to have the answers, but don't.

When the best they can do is all the same things as before and they fail, we are left to the forces of nature to choke us and kill us in all their glory - maybe by some slim chance we will survive.

This is really the story behind this story.

If you've watched the trailer (and I'm sure you have, otherwise you wouldn't be here), you can skip the movie

[johnnylongtorso-600-858529 · 1/10 · 6 December 2009]

Like many other people, I saw the hilariously cheesy trailer for Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, and was plenty amused by it, so when I saw it was coming on the Sci-Fi Channel, I thought it might be hilarious all the way through. Boy, was I wrong. Once you get past the whole "it's Debbie Gibson playing a scientist who has to fight giant sea creatures" ironic humor appeal, there's absolutely nothing appealing about this movie. It's ridiculous, but not in a funny way, just in a dull, bland, generic, cheap CGI monster movie way. Lorenzo Lamas chews scenery, Debbie Gibson is about as believable as you might expect an aging teen pop star to be as a scientist, and the whole endeavor was a chore to sit through for 90 minutes. There's no reason to sit through the entire thing when you can just chuckle at the two-minute trailer.

This movie needs 20 minutes to watch

[emphedokles · 1/10 · 9 December 2009]

This movie needs around 20 minutes to watch. The reason for that is, that you will hit the fast forward button every time when the scenes switch from totally stupid and boring to totally meaningless and very boring. This happens every two minutes.

80% of the movie is just cuts from some nature movies where you can see fishes and some water and ice. Between that scenes a few "actors" are talking without any motivation through a script which was sure written by a 8 year old kid.

There are a few scenes where you can see a shark eating a plane, a bridge, a battleship and a submarine and a octopus crushing a oil drilling platform and an other submarine. (thats the whole storyline, sorry for that spoiler) Well if you reproduce the same scenes with a few toy ships and a sock puppet painted like a shark it will look more realistic and much more amusing.

Do not waste you're live time with watching only one minute of that movie. This is not that kind of B movie which is funny because of all the logic failures in it. This movie is that bad, that it is affront of the director against the audience.

The title is good for most of my stars

[supernick-3 · 4/10 · 4 June 2009]

Let's face it, you watch this movie basically because the title intrigues you. It's just one of those things, like Snakes on a Plane, or the Attack of the 50 foot Woman. You know everything if you know the title, so you're in for a search where the title explains itself in the movie.

The actors, if you can call them that, are probably paying to be in this movie and get their minutes of fame. The soldiers were so incredibly unrealistic that it makes me believe they're the comic sidekicks. It works, every now and then. The scientists are even more over the top. I wouldn't trust them to mix even a vodka with juice. Finally, the protagonists, two overweight fishies, come straight out of the seventies or the eighties, where they survived previous movies.

So what's good? Well, it's kind of nice to look at Gibson when she makes her seductive face. It's kind of nice to look at Lamas constantly wondering what he's doing there. It's kind of nice to see some actors actually trying to say their lines without bursting into tears.

Special effects are missing, shots are reused, the plot is like Swiss cheese, but I'm happy that I watched it. Really. And even if only for the title, this movie deserves a place in my collection.

Anyone who says "so bad its good" is a liar

[clarkedwardobrien · 1/10 · 10 November 2009]

"So bad its good" how bad does a film have to be to just be "so bad I wish I hadn't seen it"? Why do we have to give con artists like Uwe Boll or the people at Asylum a loophole to spend as little time on a movie as possible? The dialogue is bad because they didn't spend time writing it. The acting is bad because they hired the cheapest actors and gave them minimal rehearsal time. The CGI is poor because they didn't work on it that much. The octopus appears for a matter of minutes (there is a point when an attack by the octopus is only mentioned by a report given to the main characters) and the sharks appearances are 90% reused footage of it swimming at the camera. Most B-movies are bad but they try to get the most out of what little they have often leading to hokey or silly moments but at least they tried. This film is cheap and lazy all of the "great" moments are in the trailer. Some people may say "this films suppose to be bad" but this isn't some great satire of the B movie its just a B movie that isn't very good. They tried to do as little as possible and passed it off under the banner of "So bad its good". Do yourself a favour watch a Godzilla movie its got Monsters in it and they're actually visible.

...SHOCKINGLY....! - Bosley Crowther

[Bmovie · 3/10 · 29 August 2009]

...SHOCKINGLY....! - Bosley Crowther Yes, he literally came back from the grave to review this film, a film that may have as profound effect on cinema as Citizen Kane and Birth of a Nation.

Fresh from its triumphs and medal-gathering showings in the prestigious Albanian Uighur Memorial Film Festival and the the Kazakhstani Kinema Klassic, Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus makes its US debut in the coveted series, SyFy Original Movies. In a departure from the gritty realism of his former opuses, Unauthorized Brady Bunch: The Final Days and La Cucaracha, director Jack Perez may have found his true oeuvre in this stunning and touching exploration of the heretofore suppressed but, often violent, cephalopod/carcharodon cultural clash.

Make no mistake, however, powerful as it may be, this is not just a delineation of the physical and psychological devastation of the tragedy of interspecies misunderstanding and prejudice. Much like the recent Julie and Julia, the film parallels the conflict (love/hate relationship) between the two species with the professional and romantic struggles of the people hoping to bring about peaceful resolution and their own personal happiness.

Deborah (My X-Girlfriend's Wedding Reception) Gibson shines as the spunky, eccentrically brilliant, but vulnerable marine biologist. She puts both her career and her heart on the line to save the world and a love she thought could never eclipse her love of the sea. Clearly she brings to mind a young, irrepressible Katherine Hepburn in Bringing Up Baby. Speaking of hearts, multitudes of them will throb at the screen presence of Vic (The Vampiric Puppet Lamentation) Chao as the love interest and crusading oceanologist. Not to strain comparisons, but his performance here can only confirm his undeniable charm as the "Asian Cary Grant." Fine supporting work is provided by Sean Lawlor as the formerly hard-drinking Irish professor who is a wise and knowledgeable mentor to Gibson's character. Lorenzo Lamas continues to enhance the shining path he now blazes in the under appreciated art of character acting. To say his turn as a maliciously stupid and obtuse government agent creates a whole new perspective on stereotypes would be an understatement.

Special effects, you say? You will believe a shark can fly and that the Golden Gate Bridge is destroyed (again)! Underwater action and authentic digital depiction of air and naval craft make Roland Emmerich epics seem pale by comparison.

The real story is the historically accurate and the emotionally investing irreconcilability of Mega Shark and the Giant Octopus. I'll take no chances on revealing anything you should only see in the context of the film (See "The Making of Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus" only after enjoying the movie itself.). Needless to say, Mega Shark reaches heights in his performance that rival any complex, if psychotic, Tarantino character. He should be a cinch for an Oscar nomination for a character the likes of which you may never have seen in a movie: evil, sardonic, ironic, mannered, absurd.

One hesitates to offer any negative criticism of a future classic film but, sadly, it must be said that Giant Octopus plainly phones this one in. No more flaccid and lifeless characterization has been seen on the screen since that of the multi-tentacled nemesis of the great Bela Lugosi in the regrettable Ed Wood's Bride of the Monster.

That said, you must see this one before the American Film Institute immortalizes it officially. Catch it in reruns or at your local RedBox!

Greatest story ever told

[kattes · 10/10 · 13 July 2009]

The movie Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus tells a compelling and touching story of eh.. Mega Shark and Giant Octopus. It's a top notch production, considering the budget for this one was apparently about 11 dollars and three free meal coupons to McDonalds. The cast is full of people who probably don't really want to be labeled as actors, because the are way more. Or they might be robots made out of Lego Technics kits, I'm not quite sure. The movies is also filled with the best special effect ever made using windows paintbrush and awe inspiring scenes that really keep people on their toes.

The plot is interesting and always on time. It displays the uncertainty of human life. The very life that most of us take for granted. It also gives out good information and life management tips. Most of us didn't even know that we're susceptible for a shark attack when flying in an airliner. Now we know better.

This movie is deeply spiritual and has many underlying themes and it also asks the Big Question that has been driving philosophers mad for thousands of years; what would happen if a Mega Shark and a Giant Octopus fought? I recommend this movie to anyone who is fed up with the meaningless and empty Hollywood productions and to anyone who want's to gain new insight in cutting edge movie production.

Grade B Sci-Fi still lives and proliferates

[sknt · 6/10 · 29 August 2009]

A few of us like a good sci-fi laugh and this one has me laughing hard. This genre was meant to amuse not be taken seriously as possible but to be laughed at and entertained by it. This movie ranks high compared to the grade B that some of us grew up with that was all Black and White. It was not ever meant to be taken seriously. The one real part is how the shark attacks the plane though the height in air was a bit unreal in extreme. The bigger sharks do attack from below and emerge from water. If a viewer wants serious then there are other movies out for that. Most viewers are looking for entertainment and escape. The place that this movie lacks most is balance between the shark and octopus though Geographic showed us that Octpus can kill sharks near same size. if the shark cant move it will die. Viewers that want a good laugh will get a few from viewing this.

I think I might have discovered the surefire cure to insomnia

[TheUnknown837-1 · 1/10 · 29 August 2009]

I think that sitting down to watch "Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus", a torturous experience I shall never go through again, I knew right from the start that it was going to be bad. Not only bad, but really bad. Any person with half a brain could tell that by the title. Why did I see it? I guess just to see how bad it really was. And take my word for it, it's even worse than what you're expecting. For a long time, I thought "Python" (2000) was a surefire contender for the worst of the low-budget monster flicks that I've seen on the sci-fi channel. But no. This 'movie' is so bad that it makes "Python" glow like "Citizen Kane" (1941) by comparison.

The plot's more or less the same than what you'd expect. Maybe less. You know, giant prehistoric monsters escape and wreck havoc for no particular reason, because that's just what giant prehistoric monsters are supposed to do. This time, a giant megalodon shark that can swallow the Golden Gate Bridge and an octopus that can sink a sea-based airfield platform have escaped from the frigid ice of the north. A cast of hammy actors start reciting monologues about how 'special and dangerous' these things are, how they must be captured for research, and when they cannot be caught or destroyed, it seems there's no better solution that to pit them against each other in a fight to the death.

The 'film' defies logic. Even low-budget monster-on-the-loose movie logic. For example, in a scene that had me laughing for nearly a whole minute, the giant shark swallows a passing commercial airliner by jumping approximately thirty-five thousand feet straight up into the air. And I also wonder just what possessed the fifty-million-year-old carnivore to take a bite out of the Golden Gate Bridge when there's plenty of big humpback whales and other marine animals to snack on. I guess the filmmakers had it in their minds that it was to be cool. Well, the Golden Gate Bridge was pulled down by a giant octopus in the film "It Came from Beneath the Sea" from 1955 and while I didn't think that movie was enormous impressive, it was still worlds better on entertainment than this. How can artillery shot into the air go underwater and simply explode in the general area right around the giant creatures? How can a creature who can snap a battleship in half with one bite have so much difficulty breaking a small submarine in two? Why would you try to bait giant carnivores by creating a pheromone signature using Gatorade when a big heap of fresh meat would do? Or perhaps an airplane, since they seem to like those. And also, if these two giant monsters were frozen in combat and want nothing more than to kill each other than anything else, why is it that when they're released simultaneously, do they go their separate ways? Making up? As good as guess as any, I suspect. Maybe I missed a piece of dialogue that explained this. I was falling pretty deep into slumber during this.

Of course, lots of movies defy logic. But even if this film made sense, which it does not, it would still be bad. The cast stars actors who have been good before and may be good again someday, but were just awful here and I think it's because they're aware that they're in an awful film, the big projects are given to the big stars, they don't have to put much of an effort because they know it'd be for nothing, and they just take the paycheck. Lorenzo Lamas, for example, has never been so mediocre. And he looks flat out absurd as a government agent who's dressed to look like a cross between Tony Montana and Steven Seagal—whose career I think his' is starting to resemble.

And CGI effects for the monsters whom we seldom ever see? I've seen worse and better on the sci-fi channel. But as poor as the effects are, it would have been better to see more of them than just more monologues and ridiculous love scenes and pacing by the bland, impersonal characters who don't interest us for a second.

Take my word for it. Those of you who want to test the movie to see if it's as bad as it sounds, do not. You will regret it. When I sat down to watch this film, I found myself inevitably riffing it like our heroes from "Mystery Science Theater 3000" because in the past, that sort of unlabored the burden. Here, not even that helped. I made jokes at everything I saw and still, I was suffering. In fact, I was so depressed and appalled by this atrociously bad excuse of a film that immediately after viewing it, I had to pop in my DVD of Hitchcock's masterpiece "Vertigo" (1958) just to remind myself of what a *true* motion picture is.

However, there may be one good thing going for this movie? You know that chronic sleeplessness called insomnia? Well, I may have just discovered a cure for that. Perhaps if you can't sleep and this piece of garbage (I seldom use that when describing a movie, but I had to here) is on, maybe it'll help put you to sleep. However, you may still wake up in a depression and regret what you did. So, you have been warned. Those of you who have not seen this movie, I envy you. I really do.

Watch at your peril

[simonpclarke666 · 1/10 · 18 August 2009]

This film is so bad it's errr. BAD.

The best acting comes from the shark and octopus.

Debbie, I would suggest you just keep trying to "shake your love", it worked in the 80's, it's sadly missing in the noughties

Is there a sequel in the wings, the ending may seem to show that possibility.

I suggest Angry Aardvark v Miffed Meerkat, that should be as compelling.

If you want to kill 90 minutes of your life, feel free to watch this. Alternatively, I know a very good orthodontist looking for extraction guinea pigs