"I want mooooooore/Get on the floooooooor"
I considered just using the above lyrics as the full review for this horrible, horrible movie. They embody the lame, triteness and utter incompetence of it. I gave this movie a 3 to dissuade people from watching it as a good/bad movie. It's just flat out bad without the benefit ironic grins to save it.
I'll frequently get movies based on titles alone. It's a crap shoot. "The Nude Vampire" paid off. "Vampegeddon" came up snake eyes. This movie disappoints at every frame from the overly long and confusing pre- credit sequence in which the dialogue sounds dubbed to forced attempts at humor. Rather than characters, you get stereotypes of stereotypes including what I guess was meant to be a nod to Jay and Silent Bob...except Silent Bob won't shut up. Apparently, unless you're the head vampire, you're either retarded or can't find your inhaler which causes your to hyperventilate.
Here's the thing - The head vampire needs teens to call him forth yet they're given the means to do it by...another vampire. Plot point hole, meet Mac Truck.
This genre depends on suspending your disbelief. Or great special effects. Or lots of sex and flesh. None of that is here.
That said, you have to have a certain amount of admiration for someone that actually makes a movie, no matter how horrible it is.
I considered just using the above lyrics as the full review for this horrible, horrible movie. They embody the lame, triteness and utter incompetence of it. I gave this movie a 3 to dissuade people from watching it as a good/bad movie. It's just flat out bad without the benefit ironic grins to save it.
I'll frequently get movies based on titles alone. It's a crap shoot. "The Nude Vampire" paid off. "Vampegeddon" came up snake eyes. This movie disappoints at every frame from the overly long and confusing pre- credit sequence in which the dialogue sounds dubbed to forced attempts at humor. Rather than characters, you get stereotypes of stereotypes including what I guess was meant to be a nod to Jay and Silent Bob...except Silent Bob won't shut up. Apparently, unless you're the head vampire, you're either retarded or can't find your inhaler which causes your to hyperventilate.
Here's the thing - The head vampire needs teens to call him forth yet they're given the means to do it by...another vampire. Plot point hole, meet Mac Truck.
This genre depends on suspending your disbelief. Or great special effects. Or lots of sex and flesh. None of that is here.
That said, you have to have a certain amount of admiration for someone that actually makes a movie, no matter how horrible it is.