The Dinosaur Experiment (2013) User Reviews

Really Not Good!

[yourlife · 2/10 · 1 December 2013]

I love movies and I also will check out most independent produced pictures as well. When I saw this had a small but functional budget, I gave it a chance.

All I can say is this. The best acting in this movie came from the animated creatures.

The script is weak and they managed to include almost every stereotype that has ever existed, yet not one of them could act!

Seriously, you will spend time that you can never get back and life is just too short to care! Don't waste your time.

Just my thoughts!

So messy it should be Raptor Ranch Dressing...

[paul_haakonsen · 2/10 · 5 December 2013]

Well, this movie had prehistoric raptors and Lorenzo Lamas... So what could possibly go wrong?

Aside from just about everything?

This movie was really awful, sorry for being so direct and blunt. But it needs to be said. The 2004 "Raptor Island" movie, also with Lorenzo Lamas in it, was equally bad. And yet there is something alluring to these kind of cheesy movies. Perhaps it is the fact that you know it is going to be bad that makes you want to sit down for a laugh or two.

The story here is about a strange, old man who apparently has been creating dinosaurs on his farm (for some odd reason we don't get to know why, much less to be told just how about he went doing this). A local native girl, along with a singer and his groupies and three young college friends become stuck in the small town, terrorized by the prehistoric raptors. And called to the case are two federal agents.

Right, this storyline was really not believable in any sense, and there were just so many things that didn't make sense throughout the movie. And for being federal agents, then I must say that those two in the movie were about the most ineffective and lazy of agents around.

There was no excitement, thrills or scares throughout this movie. And the pace just trotted ahead in a very monotone pace, which actually cased me to nod off two or three times along the movie. And I can't claim that dozing off here and there caused me to miss out on anything crucial to the storyline.

The dinosaurs were awkward and badly animated most of the time. However, once in a while they did actually come off as believable enough. However, don't expect anything near "Jurassic Park" in any way.

The dialogue throughout the movie was unbelievably forced and stuttering. There was no natural flow, and most of the actors and actresses weren't really helping the movie along in a positive way.

You know very well how this movie is going to be, and sure enough, it turned out to be exactly as bad as expected.

There might be some odd enjoyment in this movie if you are a head-over-heels fan of anything even remotely tied to dinosaurs. But for us regular movie watchers, nah, not so much to come here for...

I gotta have squirrels

[nogodnomasters · 2/10 · 18 January 2018]

Dr. Cane (Jack Gould) secretly raises raptors on his quiet ranch, gathering up road kill. Alas, Dr. Cane can't seem to control the herd as one of them has eaten Abbi's mom while she was praying. Abbi (singer Jana "cleavage" Mashonee) leads a group of young adults away from the raptors, driving around in the Partridge Family bus.

The film created some colorful characters, but they were too shallow and lacked the needed dialogue to make the film interesting. Raptor special effects were fairly decent for a low budget film.

Film is about on scale for a made for TV flick. Jana Mashonee is gosh awful pretty in a set of Daisy Dukes and the only reason I would ever watch the film again.

Parental Guide: No f-bombs or nudity. Clothed sex scene with minor groping and raptor.

You're better off staying well clear from this ranch!

[TheLittleSongbird · 1/10 · 21 December 2013]

Even from the trailer, Raptor Ranch from the get go was one such movie to not expect too much from and to not take too seriously. The trailer did look sort of fun, if in a guilty-pleasure sort of way, and any movie deserves to be seen fairly. Sad to say that from personal opinion Raptor Ranch is every bit as bad as the reviews and ratings here say(and no I am not one of those immature people who voted 1 literally a year before Raptor Ranch was even released), one of those instances where the ridiculously hyperbolic IMDb plot summary is more entertaining than anything in this movie put together. Even for a low-budget movie the movie looks cheap. It has a very drab look, is edited awkwardly often and the dinosaurs not only move with such stiffness but they are poorly designed and textured- they would belong more at home in perhaps 70s-80s high school art projects- as well as not blending at all within the backgrounds. The soundtrack is at best forgettable and it adds little if at all to the movie. The dialogue sounds improvised judging from the delivery and sounds incredibly stilted, the humour often forced. If you're looking for any excitement, suspense, tension and surprises, look somewhere else, the storytelling is incredibly simplistic and predictable with a story that is nowhere near enough to sustain the length, even before the ending you can tell they were running out of ideas. Raptor Ranch tries to incorporate different genres, like horror, thriller, comedy and action-adventure and because of primarily the forced humour, the complete lack of creativity and the atmosphere being next to non-existent it fails miserably at every single one. You don't engage with any of the characters, it is true that every stereotype seems here and they are written very poorly, coming across as obnoxious and spoilt brats. In fact you find yourself rooting for the dinosaurs and they are also the best actors, that's saying little because they also have a lack of personality so you cannot relate to anything that goes on within the story and what's happening to the characters. When the dinosaurs' acting is little to write home about, that goes to show actually at how awful the acting is, it doesn't even look like acting. The action is limp and even the death scenes lack originality and suffer from the worst of the editing, the only thing that they succeed in doing is that you are secretly glad that with every killing that there is one less annoying character to "care" about. All in all, an amateurish mess(so much so it is very difficult to find a shred of entertainment value), prehistoric terror is a far from apt description and it is best left forgotten. 1/10 Bethany Cox

Not worth watching!!

[nayan871419 · 1/10 · 3 December 2013]

I am not exactly a great lover of horror films. But in spite of that i like watching horror films well produced, pictured and with a good storyline. Believe me this movie doesn't have any of those qualities. It's just wasting your time. The story is very week as well as the actors. animation looks like back in the 50's. After all it's a low budget movie but not one like Evil deed or paranormal activities. To make a low budget movie successful at least you need a handful well written script, then some good actors and finally moderate animation. In this 21st century you cannot expect lot of viewers with this kind of level.

So my advice, don't waste your time and money watching this creepy one.

Diversity in different ways

[dragongirl764 · 2/10 · 25 October 2014]

This movie was just a completely different movie than I had imagined. And it's all thanks to the "uniqueness" of the characters, if I may call it that.

Here we have the stereotypical, bossy, Green Arrow impersonator, driven waitress who works for a stereotypical sleazy, fat, greasy, inappropriate, degrading politician/restaurant owner/toy store owner/car dealer who decides to use his power in a town of THREE, count 'em, THREE people. We also have the old farmer who just so happens to be a mad scientist/ doting pet owner on his farm of dinosaurs who can somehow miraculously use up ALL of the gas in town...until morning when apparently the town revitalizes EVERYTHING, including the girl's and guys' broken down cars. How, you ask? I'm guessing magic!

We also get, in this treasure trove of diversity, a gay BLACK guy. Yes, you read that right. A gay, jazz singing black guy with his two backstage singers. One is a dumb, blonde slut who LOVES everything and the other is the very embodiment of all things emo-teen- psychopathic. I honestly don't know where they come up with that! It's brilliant! And then we have the dorky-yet-cute and wimpy college dude forced onto a ski trip (through the desert) by his skirt chasing Nimrod buddies (one is hot, one could lay off the chips).

And the dinosaurs are characters of themselves. We have the ever so watchful velociraptors, who are basically just there for a show...I think one of them went for country food later. We have the GURL-POWER ULTIMATE CYAN BLUE FEMALE WHATTHEFUDGEISITASAURUS REX! And then we have the T. Rex, A T. REX, who decides mid chase that he will not be confined to just being a hunter. He shall also be an interior decorator. We got to see him in action when he somehow bust through the waitress's house and painted the couch with her boss' intestines as he screamed for her (ooooh, a hint of love?) and the goth, geek, and waitress stood there screaming like we all would.

We also had our ever intelligent forensic scientist who was apparently foreign who forewarned our ever present CSI/FBI/Monster Hunter agents to remain indoors. And indoors they stayed, sleeping like good little heroes because they work hard. Oh so very hard. HARD. So hard in fact, that when they sleep, nothing-not even the screams/barking/crashing/ smashing/stomping/shrieking/roaring/scraping/hysterical laughing of the cast-could wake them. Nope. Guys gotta get their sleep. Thank you for protecting your country, gentlemen, you are an inspiration.

And, let's not forget the amazing scenes of this tiny rundown town...that has a factory that produces anything your imagination can think up. Like Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory...except with dinosaurs instead of candy and oompa loompas.

My favorite parts are the dinosaurs dramatic entrances. Like when the fat, skirt chaser switches on and off all the switches that so obviously, but not obviously, say DOORS- LIGHTS- BETH *CAUTION* (our daddysgirlasaurus rex). Over and over. To test the dinosaurs ability to perceive escape.

As the waitress and goth stand in the middle of the farm, staring at him in deep contemplation of his IQ status.

And there was the fact that, as long as you don't SEE the dinosaur, even if it's behind you/ stalking you/wants to ask you about our lord and savior, it will not run after you if you run back to your friends/people who abandon you at the earliest opportunity.

And, as Madam Dark and Crazy demonstrates, YOU CAN FISH FOR RAPTORS using a toy fishing rod and a doll. Sure, go ahead, reel it in! She also showed us that dinosaurs are great back messagers. With just enough pressure, it can make you feel like it just snapped your spine oh-so good.

But don't let me tell you. Ask the FBI/Sleepyhead agents who can only be raised from their slumber by an explosion...

Not a roar.

An explosion.

This movie has got it all.

Of reptiles and men

[unbrokenmetal · 3/10 · 17 October 2015]

'Raptor Ranch' (audaciously retitled 'Jurassic Dark' with a D in my country) tells us about the waitress Abbi (Jana Mashonee). She has a really bad day: she is stuck in a boring countryside town, her car breaks down, her boss is really mean to her, and everybody she meets is an idiot. However the worst is yet to come when a bunch of dinosaurs escapes from a farm nearby - how they were bred there, we never really find out. Anyway, there is a lot of screaming, running, killing, more running. Two FBI agents (Declan Joyce and the only star Lorenzo Lamas in a rather small part) look for clues, but don't find much, although the hungry reptiles are running around all over the place.

I can't really say much to praise this movie. The animation is mediocre, acting skills non existing, and the narration and editing clumsy. For example, in one scene 2 characters find a safe place of a roof where the creatures can't catch them. They climb down again - why? Because they enjoy being chased?

In my view, there is only 1 thing that 'Raptor Ranch' does better than other low budget flicks of the genre, and that is the choice of characters. From the entertainer in a purple suit to the college kid who dresses as a Roman Centurio, there is a lot of weird characters, the comedy bits sometimes work well, which is why I don't regret too much that I wasted an evening watching this. One kid proudly announces men will finally defeat reptiles because they have a higher intelligence - this movie may not be the best example for that. I voted 3 of 10.

Cheap and ridiculous

[Leofwine_draca · 3/10 · 28 November 2019]

RAPTOR RANCH is another cheap and ridiculous dinosaur-themed B-flick which adds everything to the mix in a bid for something to stick: you get random sex scenes, splashy gore effects, dumb characters doing dumb things, and a real Z-grade cast. The only thing I liked was that the lead actress is of Native American descent, which makes for a refreshing change. Elsewhere, a boring first half which rips off PLANET TERROR with its sleazy characters gives way to a low rent JURASSIC PARK-inspired rampage in the second. The FX are very poor, and the repeated same shot of an advancing T-rex is particularly annoying. Lorenzo Lamas appears, inevitably.

You have got to be kidding me.

[hackraytex · 1/10 · 14 June 2022]

Is there some rating below one star? I have seen some pretty pathetic movies that I bailed out on post haste but I plead guilty to wasting about 20 minutes on this piece of trash.

I did not stick around to see the appearance of Lorenzo Llamas. I like a lot of his materiel but he must have needed the money pretty bad, did it for a hoot, or owed someone a favor. I bet he does not claim this on his resume'. I hope this did not damage any beginner actors' future careers.

Better luck next time.

Awful, but...

[connorwdrysdale · 2/10 · 26 December 2021]

If you are specifically looking to watch a bad movie I can't recommend this enough, you will laugh your ass off over all the horrible decisions and directing of this awful movie.

a lot better then people say

[scorpion-52 · 7/10 · 9 May 2014]

Personally I don't get all the hate for this film, I thought it was entertaining and diverting enough to kill 90 minutes. Has some cool death scenes and fun acting by Lamas(reprising his role from Raptor Island and Raptor Planet), the CGI isn't horrible, i've seen way worse. The Story is nothing special, but then again with Sci-Fi Channel films you know not to expect Oscar-caliber writing. Is it a smart film, hell no, but it's infinitely more watchable then say those godawful Paranormal Activity films, the Twilight movies, those horrible remakes of foreign horror films(I.E. The Eye, Shutter, Pulse, One Missed Call, The Grudge, etc)

Deliberately bad

[amathaine-74-415256 · 6/10 · 6 September 2021]

Is it a bad movie? Yes, absolutely, but B movie deliberately bad. I got a lot of giggles over the lines, especially the multiple nods towards the Jurassic Park franchise. It was fun to watch as long as you go in expecting silly.

Funny Dinosaur Movie

[seckinlergafri · 7/10 · 7 August 2018]

Raptor Ranch is a comedy horror film released in 2012. Tells of a remote place called Fossil Ridge, there was a mysterious murder, which caused the FBI team to be sent to reveal the case, where Else Abbie finished working forced by Sheldon to take her to a place old man named dr. Cane, but they have to face bloodthirsty beasts, Abbie, Sheldon and Kolin, they have to fight these prehistoric creatures, in a silly way that makes me laugh, bad acting, bad CGI effects, strange characters ... But this movie very entertaining and funny.

What a f*ck is this?

[rumpsavage · 7/10 · 4 June 2016]

This was obviously made around the time the first Jurassic Park appeared. I think Velasa Raptor was name Beth. How they did this? IDK but lamas is in it and he does a couple gags. Lol. It was as if dinos were in the bus but they didn't know. Especially the part with the twinkies :) was funny.

IF you watch THIS flick make sur you watch it with frends because it is fonnier with them. Also, The cgi was actually good. I think they used the Myst engine from the hit game King's Quest. Also, If you look closey at 5min 30sec you can see the gerpantis of the main girl when she gets out of bed which kind of was hot because there is another sex scene quick but there are not any shots of anything like body or bum so this was good to start.

-5/10 Bethany Cokes