- Narrator: New Year's Eve was big in Bed-Stuy because it gave everybody a chance to make new resolutions. Unfortunately, most people didn't follow through on them. Not my mother.
- Rochelle: This year, I'm going to stop yelling at my children.
- Narrator: No, you're not.
- Rochelle: [yells] Who put a glass on my table without a coaster?
- Narrator: Not my sister.
- Tonya: This year, I'm not going to get Chris in trouble anymore.
- Narrator: Yes, you will.
- Rochelle: [yelling off-screen] Who's been in my make-up bag?
- Tonya: Chris did it!
- Narrator: Not my father.
- Julius: I'm going to stop worrying about money.
- Narrator: Stop lying.
- Julius: Chris, close that door! You just let out 86 cent worth of refrigeration.
- Narrator: Not my brother.
- Drew: This year, I'm not going to take any more girls from Chris.
- Narrator: We'll see about that.
- Pretty Girl: That's so sweet, Drew. Who's Chris?
- Chris: I'm Chris. You came in with me.
- Chris: [to Rochelle] Come on, Ma. Why not? I mean all we do is stay up till 11:59, say, "Happy New Year," blow a noisemaker, and then go to sleep. I want to do something different.
- Rochelle: Like what? Get drunk, rip your shirt off in the freezing cold and have the cops arrest you and spend the first day of the new year in jail? Who wants to do that?
- Narrator: Lindsay Lohan.
- Greg Wuliger: [while talking to Chris on the phone] I can't believe your dad saved a guy. That's so cool. You know, if that guy had been a girl, he'd be so in there.
- Narrator: Another one of Greg's pickup techniques. If you stop a girl from killing herself, she might go out with you.
- Tasha: Hey, Chris. I saw your dad on TV. That was really brave what he did.
- Chris: Yeah, I guess.
- Tasha: What's wrong?
- Chris: Nothing. I was just hoping my dad could take me to Times Square tonight, but he's all tied up with these interviews.
- Tasha: I'm going to Times Square tonight with my mom and Malvo. Why don't you come with us?
- Chris: I don't think she'll let me.
- Tasha: Why not?
- Chris: You know why.
- Tasha: Well, you can at least ask.
- Chris: Ma! Can I go to Times Square with Tasha, Peaches and Malvo?
- Rochelle: [off-screen] Hell, no!
- Peaches: [to Rochelle] How come you won't let Chris go to Times Square with me?
- Rochelle: Well, hello, Peaches.
- Peaches: You know what, Rochelle? If we are gonna be friends, at some point, you are gonna have to learn how to trust me.
- Rochelle: Mmm. Now, I'll trust you with some clothes, but trusting you with my children, that's another thing.
- Narrator: Not to Britney Spears.
- Peaches: Rochelle, you know what? My parole officer said I am proof that the system works. I am a new me. I have learned from my mistakes. I have paid my debt to society.
- Rochelle: And you want to open a new line of credit with my child.
- Peaches: Well, if not yours, then whose? Mine? She got to go with me. Now, how am I supposed to feel improved and empowered by that?
- Narrator: Kissing Tasha on New Year's Eve was amazing, but my only fear was that I was gonna turn into a pumpkin at midnight.