- Roy: [to Moss when hung-over and groaning] oh... morning. Oh my word. When did the English start drinking like that? You people drink like you don't want to live.
- Moss: I wanna go back to being weird. I like being weird. Weird's all I got. That, and my sweet style.
- [Jen has just told Michael that she's breaking up with him]
- Michael: But why? I don't understand, I thought it was going so well. Was it something I did?
- Jen Barber: No, no, it's hard to explain.
- Michael: Tell me, Jen! For God's sake, you owe me that much.
- Jen Barber: You... look like a magician, Michael. Alright? I'm sorry, but you do. I didn't notice it at first but then someone mentioned it and now I can't get it out of my head, it's driving me mad.
- Michael: [confused] But I'm not a magician.
- Jen Barber: I know! That's why it's not good that you look like one.
- Michael: Well, what is it exactly about me?
- Jen Barber: [incredulous] It's everything! There's *nothing* about you that doesn't look like a magician. It's everything! Don't you see it? Don't you wake up every morning and look in the mirror and think, "Jesus Christ I look like a magician!"
- Michael: No.
- Jen Barber: Well, you should! I would! If I was a... weirdy, beardy, magicianey man.