Flight of the Conchords (TV Series)

New Cup (2009)

Jemaine Clement: Jemaine

Quotes 

• Jemaine : It's dark, Bret.

  Bret : Yeah, I know.

  Jemaine : What expression is on your face?

  Bret : Umm. Guilty expression. What expression is on your face?

  Jemaine : Sad because we don't have any electricity, but satisfied because I was right about the cup.

  Bret : That's a weird expression.

• Jemaine : Our check for the phone bill bounced. Says here, in our bank statement, that our account was short... By $2... and 79 cents... How much was that cup again?

  Bret : 2.79.

  Jemaine : [smugly]  Oh? That's quite interesting, isn't it?... Well, because our check bounced we got charged a $30 overdraft fee. Which made our gas bill bounce.

  Bret : Yep, that's boring, man

  Jemaine : Yes, but the point is because of your $2.79 spending spree, we now owe $60, and our phone and gas are gonna be cut off.

  Bret : [Not listening]  Interesting.

  [All of the lights go out] 

  Bret : Ah. We got a letter from the electricity company.

  Jemaine : What did it say...?

  Bret : ...I didn't read it.

• Murray Hewitt : Bret, you should have a guitar.

  Bret : I sold it to pay the bills.

  Murray Hewitt : You can't go on like that! Won't it sound weird with just the big guitar that Jemaine plays?

  Jemaine : Bass. It's called a bass guitar.

  Murray Hewitt : Well, I call it the '"Dad guitar" 'cause it's more like

  [deep voice] 

  Murray Hewitt : "Da da da da - I'm your Dad. Hey Murray, get into the shed and get the mower and do the lawns - de de de." You need Bret's "Mum guitar" to add the beautiful tones.

  [high voice] 

  Murray Hewitt : "Come on, darling, Murray's okay. Why you get home so late, Gordon?"

  [deep voice] 

  Murray Hewitt : "I was just havin' a few beers."

  Bret : It'll sound fine.

  Murray Hewitt : It won't sound fine, Bret, you've got no guitar!

  [Bret plays his air guitar] 

  Murray Hewitt : I can hardly hear it! You'd have to be deaf to hear that.