- Kent Brockman: So. you're guaranteeing it's safe to eat Ogdenville barley once more?
- Ogdenville farmer: Well, where there's barley, there's rats, you know? Now, when will you be starting the interview?
- Kent Brockman: That just went out live.
- Ogdenville farmer: Well, then we're screwed.
- Homer Simpson: I share your xylophobia!
- Lisa Simpson: No, Dad, you mean "xenophobia". Xylophobia would be the fear of xylophones.
- Homer Simpson: I *am* afraid of xylophones. It's the music you hear when skeletons are dancing!
- Krusty's Agent: It turns out the Krustyburger is the most unhealthy fast food item ever.
- Krusty the Clown: Even worse than the Double Krustyburger?
- Krusty's Agent: Apparently, yes.
- Bart Simpson: Dad, are you sure you can put in these new rain gutters all by yourself?
- Homer Simpson: Yeah, maybe you're right. I do have a bad history of going up on roofs and waking up in hospitals.
- Bart Simpson: Mom says I can have ice cream for breakfast. Oh, she's still here. Mom, can I have ice cream for breakfast?
- Marge Simpson: No way, mister! It's just chocolate chip pancakes and syrup for you.
- Marge Simpson: You lost your job?
- Homer Simpson: It's not my fault! Those barleyjacks filled me up with their liqueurs and liquors, but mostly the liqueurs.
- Marge Simpson: Look, Maggie. We have a nanny, just like Joe Piscopo and Ethan Hawke left their wives for.
- Superintendent Chalmers: [weakly] Skinner! If I die, I want you to take over...
- Principal Seymour Skinner: [pleasantly surprised] Really?
- Superintendent Chalmers: ...the search committee for a new superintendent.
- Principal Seymour Skinner: [shakes head dejectedly] Mmm...
- Superintendent Chalmers: Just hold my head and say soothing things.
- [lies down with head on Principal Skinner's leg]
- Principal Seymour Skinner: Third grade math scores are holding steady.
- [rubs Superintendent Chalmers' head]
- Superintendent Chalmers: [contentedly] Aah, yes.