House M.D. (TV Series)
Lucky Thirteen (2008)
Hugh Laurie: Dr. Gregory House
Photos
Quotes
-
[Dr. House is trying to discover the motivations of Dr. Hadley's promiscuous & destructive behavior]
Dr. Gregory House : Why not men? You're bisexual. If you were just being self-destructive, you'd be having random sex with men. Better chances of getting assaulted, catching a disease. If this were just about getting laid, it'd be a lot easier to pick up men. Or ugly girls. But this woman's hot. Which means you like the challenge, the conquest. It's the control that gets you off. And controlling women is as close as you can get to controlling what's going to happen to you.
Dr. Remy 'Thirteen' Hadley : Here I thought I was just into boobs.
-
Dr. Gregory House : Another life saved by girl-on-girl action.
-
Dr. Gregory House : I haven't sat on this couch for four months. It remembers my cheeks.
-
Dr. Gregory House : This is not a test. You're not getting your job back. If you can...
Dr. Remy 'Thirteen' Hadley : I know what it's like to get this news. And no one should have to get it from you!
-
Dr. Eric Foreman : Just spoke to my brother.
Dr. Gregory House : And by "brother" you mean?
Dr. Eric Foreman : I mean my parents' other son.
Dr. Gregory House : Wow. Same dad.
Dr. Eric Foreman : Got a call last week from your P.I. You lied, you *did* have me investigated. You've been taunting the team with what you learned, but you never came after me. Means you couldn't find anything.
Dr. Gregory House : You're right.
[Foreman starts to walk away]
Dr. Gregory House : That's because you haven't done anything stupid, spontaneous, or even vaguely interesting since you were 17. And that's just *sad*.
-
Dr. Remy 'Thirteen' Hadley : I can handle this alone.
Dr. Gregory House : You've already handled it. That's why you need a chaperone. Of course, I'm a very permissive, understanding chaperone. So feel free to ignore me. You know, if you're in the mood to start kissing, or groping, or showering.
Dr. Remy 'Thirteen' Hadley : You'll have to excuse Dr. House. He mistakes immaturity for edginess.
-
Dr. Gregory House : Thirteen, go stick a needle in your girlfriend's pelvis. And no, that one wasn't a metaphor. Suck out some marrow. That one was.
-
Dr. Eric Foreman : There are ways of getting to know people without committing felonies.
Dr. Gregory House : People interest me, conversations don't.
Dr. Eric Foreman : Cause conversations go both ways.
Dr. Eric Foreman , Dr. Gregory House : [together] ... Like Thirteen.
-
Dr. Remy 'Thirteen' Hadley : Retinal vein occlusion was fixed. Her doctor said it was a venous anomaly.
Dr. Gregory House : Is he in this room? Because if he's not, I don't care what he thinks. Unless he's a she, and she was there last night too. In which case I care very deeply.
-
Dr. James Wilson : House, you are a drug addict. You go to prostitutes. You can't be judgmental.
Dr. Gregory House : And yet...
-
Dr. James Wilson : [referring to the hooker] Best thirty dollars I ever spent.
Dr. Gregory House : Thirty? Did you keep her number?
-
Dr. Gregory House : Oh my God. You invoked your dead girlfriend's name to sell me. You're my hero!
-
Dr. Gregory House : [about Wilson] He's an idiot with a messiah complex. Savior to all who need saving. That's why his first wife had a wooden leg. Second wife was Canadian.
-
Dr. Gregory House : [to Foreman] You're a disgrace to your stereotype.
-
Dr. Gregory House : I was waiting by my window for an hour. Why are you late?
Dr. James Wilson : I had a breakfast meeting at Mickey's Diner with the Mercy people to tell them I'm coming back to work here. Sorry if it interfered with you plan to maim me. Donut's a nice touch.
Dr. Gregory House : It's my way of saying, "welcome back".
-
Dr. Allison Cameron : [about the patient] The seizure could be the result of dehydration or something neurological.
Dr. Gregory House : Or the ecstasy you found in her system.
Dr. Allison Cameron : According to Dr. Hadley, the patient took the drugs about five hours before the seizure, so...
Dr. Gregory House : What does Thirteen know about it?
Dr. Allison Cameron : Uh, apparently she was with the patient last night.
Dr. Gregory House : At 3:00 a.m.?
[Cameron shrugs]
Dr. Gregory House : Oh, yeah. Penthouse Forum meets medical mystery. Maybe there is a God.
-
Dr. Gregory House : [to Thirteen] Empty transient sex? I've been waiting for you to spiral out of control, ever since you got your Huntington's diagnosis, but this is more than I dared hope for.
-
Spencer : You're Dr. House?
Dr. Gregory House : I assume my name came up last night in the form of a moan. You had sex, then a seizure. Could be a particular position or activity that set it off.
[to Thirteen]
Dr. Gregory House : That sounds like a valid medical theory, doesn't it?
Dr. Remy 'Thirteen' Hadley : [to Spencer] I'm really sorry. Just ignore him.
Spencer : Whatever you think we did, we... we did, and then some.
Dr. Gregory House : Lights on or off?
Dr. Remy 'Thirteen' Hadley : Do you have a medical rationalization for that one?
Dr. Gregory House : Light sensitivity.
Spencer : On.
Dr. Gregory House : Figured she had more shame than that. Did she talk dirty, or did you rely on vague hand signals?
[writes something on a clipboard]
Spencer : She's... uh, pretty direct about what she wants.
Dr. Gregory House : I'm learning so much. Okay, score the score. Scale of one to ten.
Dr. Remy 'Thirteen' Hadley : [as she inserts the biopsy needle in Spencer] Don't answer.
Spencer : [winces from the pain of the biopsy needle] Seven.
Dr. Gregory House : [holds up a piece of paper with the number 7 on it] Finally got one right.
-
Dr. Remy 'Thirteen' Hadley : [about Spencer] We had to use paddles to stabilize the patient's heart.
Dr. Gregory House : Eye issue, brain issue, now a heart issue. Sounds like a real case to me.
Dr. Remy 'Thirteen' Hadley : Yeah, I get it. I was wrong. Can we move on?
Dr. Gregory House : You're just upset because the whole time she was with you, she was thinking of my huge, throbbing... diagnostic skills.
-
Dr. Gregory House : [while House and Foreman are searching Thirteen's apartment] Last night wasn't the first time that Thirteen brought home some strange.
Dr. Eric Foreman : You found her diary...
Dr. Gregory House : No toys. You sleep with the same person over and over, that's when you need accessories. First time is pretty exciting on its own.
[takes something out of a dresser]
Dr. Gregory House : You think an asthma inhaler could be used as a sex toy?
-
Dr. Lawrence Kutner : Spider bite doesn't explain anything unless the patient was actually bitten by a spider. I'll do the exam.
Dr. Gregory House : Don't be ridiculous. That would be inappropriate. It'd be better if a woman gropes her. There's no sexual tension that way.
-
Dr. Lisa Cuddy : [to House about Thirteen] I found her in the clinic giving herself IV fluids.
Dr. Gregory House : At least you could've let her finished. She looks terrible.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy : She has a fresh nightclub stamp on her wrist. She's in no condition to practice.
Dr. Gregory House : Unless this is a prelude to an actual spanking, there's no reason for me to be...
Dr. Lisa Cuddy : I want her to take a drug test.
Dr. Remy 'Thirteen' Hadley : You can't make me do that.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy : But I can suspend you until you do.
Dr. Gregory House : Because she went to a nightclub in her free time or because she had sex in her free time? Patient was undergoing routine surgery for RTA. Didn't need Thirteen here for that. And I don't need you making my employees punch a clock or pee in a cup.
-
Dr. Remy 'Thirteen' Hadley : [to House] Thank you.
Dr. Gregory House : By the way, the surgery was not routine. Patient stopped breathing and you missed a differential. You're fired.
Dr. Remy 'Thirteen' Hadley : What? You just defended me.
Dr. Gregory House : No, I just prevented you from getting a drug test. Probably saved your career. I'm already taking responsibility for one doctor with a drug habit.
[pops a Vicodin pill in his mouth]
Dr. Remy 'Thirteen' Hadley : I don't have a drug habit.
Dr. Gregory House : The slutty party girl is fun 'till she pukes on your shoes. Then she's just a pain in the ass.
