- Alan Harper: I hate to say it, but Chelsea's right.
- Charlie Harper: You don't hate it.
- Alan Harper: Did I say I hate to say it? What I meant to say was, "I can't wait to say it".
- Charlie Harper: You know, there was a time it would have worked.
- Alan Harper: Yes, with your silicone simpletons. But, Chelsea is too smart for your crap.
- Charlie Harper: Yeah. Plus, there's no silicone in those babies.
- Alan Harper: Darn. I owe Berta five bucks.
- Charlie Harper: [Gives Chelsea a key] Here.
- Chelsea: What is it?
- Charlie Harper: Alan's house key.
- Chelsea: Why?
- Charlie Harper: I want you to move in with me. Plus, Alan pissed me off last night.
- Charlie Harper: I tried, Alan. I really tried.
- Alan Harper: Yes, you did. You gave it a whole...
- [looks at watch]
- Alan Harper: ... hour and twenty minutes. Hey! Now Berta owes *me* five bucks!
- Charlie Harper: What happened to my towels?
- Chelsea: They didn't match my shower curtain.
- Charlie Harper: What's wrong with *my* shower curtain?
- Chelsea: It didn't match your towels.
- Charlie Harper: Maybe that's how I tell them apart!