Two and a Half Men (TV Series)
The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'? (2009)
Charlie Sheen: Charlie Harper
Photos
Quotes
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Charlie : Last night, in bed, I told her I love her. And you know what she said?
Alan : Umm... "I'm still not going to let you do that"?
Charlie : She said, "Thank you".
Alan : Ooh, that's an ice cube to the man sack.
Charlie : I don't get it. I've gone the whole nine yards for this relationship. I gave her her own drawer in my bedroom. I stopped smoking cigars after sex. I even started seeing a shrink so I can be more sensitive, and I still can't get a freaking "I love you"!
Alan : [sarcastically] But you've obviously become more sensitive.
Charlie : For what I've spent on therapy, I could get a couple of very expensive hookers who will say *anything* I want.
Alan : There's that sensitivity again.
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Charlie : [enters Alan's room] Hey, Alan!
Alan : [from bathroom] Ocupado!
Charlie : [just walks in on Alan sitting on the toilet] I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I know how to restore the balance of power with Chelsea!
Alan : [nervously covers his legs with newspaper] Excuse me! What part of "ocupado" don't you understand? The "ocu" or the "pado"?
Charlie : I understood it all. I was just hoping you were shaving.
Alan : Well, I'm not! And as you well know, this is an uphill battle for me, even in the best of circumstances.
Charlie : Yeah, yeah, yeah, but this is important!
Charlie : I'm going to get an "I love you" from Chelsea!
Alan : If you let me finish, you'll get one from *me*!
Charlie : [shows Alan an engagement ring] Check this out.
Alan : Oh, Charlie, this is so sudden. If you wait a few minutes, I'll have a gift for *you*.
