How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

Mosbius Designs (2009)

Josh Radnor: Ted Mosby

Photos 

Quotes 

• Barney Stinson : PJ's not some hot chick you're banging?

  Ted Mosby : No, I'm mentoring him.

  Barney Stinson : Mentoring... I mentored a young fellow once. Even made him my wingman. Then, one day, he hired an assistant to work ten feet from his bedroom who-get this-isn't a hot chick. Proving he never listened to a word I said. And do you know that young man's name?

  Ted Mosby : Ted Mosby?

  Barney Stinson : Maybe. I don't remember. Because he is DEAD TO ME!

  [Gets up to leave, remembers something] 

  Barney Stinson : PJ's gonna be getting a very confusing card in the mail, along with a garment that he should by no means wear for three days and then mail back to me.

• Robin Scherbatsky : So now Ted has an assistant to help him not do anything.

  Ted Mosby : Hey, PJ's been a huge help to me, setting up the office, designing the Web site. And in return, I'm mentoring a bright young mind.

  Robin Scherbatsky : Ah, yes, the mentoring.

  Ted Mosby : [Cut to Ted and PJ]  I want you to go outside today and simply put your hands on buildings. All right? Feel the concrete pulse. Listen Listen to the stories the stones are telling you... And pick up my dry cleaning.

  PJ : I will. Thank you so much, Mr. Mosby

  [Leaves] 

  Robin Scherbatsky : Hey, Ted? This table just told me you're a douche.

• Lily Aldrin : So tell me, what's the difference between peanut butter and jam?

  Narrator : And then Barney told the punchline. To this day, it's the dirtiest joke I've ever heard. And no, I'm not going to say it.

  Lily Aldrin : I can't be around you anymore.

  [Leaves] 

  Barney Stinson : Aw, come on!

  Ted Mosby : Told ya.

  Barney Stinson : She'll be back.

  Narrator : And we didn't see Lily again for four weeks.

• Ted Mosby : Distracting PJ is going to kill our productivity.

  Robin Scherbatsky : What productivity? You haven't even called a single client.

  Ted Mosby : Hey, once I get the Web site up, the brochures printed, and figure out what trusts games we're going to play at the corporate retreat, I am making those calls.

  Robin Scherbatsky : Corporate retreat?

  PJ : Mr. Mosby and I are going camping on the roof.

• Marshall Eriksen : Hey, there's Ted Mosby of Mosbius Designs. How's the home office coming, buddy?

  Ted Mosby : Well, it was going great till Robin started banging my assistant.

  Robin Scherbatsky : Ted, it's our apartment, okay? You leave a big chocolate cake on the counter, Mama's gonna cut her off a slice.

• Robin Scherbatsky : When PJ had a job, he was sexy. He was guardian of the bathroom key. A hot guy telling you when you can and can't pee? That's the dream.

  Ted Mosby : That's the dream? THE dream? Like what Martin Luther King was talking about?

• Robin Scherbatsky : You okay?

  Ted Mosby : What if I don't think of the books? Excuse me? There's this famous architecture story about an architect who designed this library. It was perfect. But every year, the whole thing would sink a couple inches into the ground. Eventually, the building was condemned. He forgot to account for the weight of the books. This company it's just me. What if I don't think of the books?

  Robin Scherbatsky : Okay first of all, nobody goes to libraries anymore, so who cares about that guy? Secondly, you need to get on the phone and start calling clients.

  Ted Mosby : The longer I put off starting my own firm, the longer it can remain a dream and not something I screwed up at. I mean, it's like I'm giving up before I even started.

  Robin Scherbatsky : You want to talk about giving up? I used to describe my ideal guy as "funny, smart, passionate, challenging". And now, apparently, I will settle for "in my apartment".