"How I Met Your Mother" Old King Clancy (TV Episode 2009) Poster

(TV Series)

(2009)

Neil Patrick Harris: Barney Stinson

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Neil Patrick Harris and Jason Segel in How I Met Your Mother (2005) Neil Patrick Harris and Jason Segel in How I Met Your Mother (2005) Neil Patrick Harris and Jason Segel in How I Met Your Mother (2005) Neil Patrick Harris and Jason Segel in How I Met Your Mother (2005) Neil Patrick Harris, Jason Segel, and Josh Radnor in How I Met Your Mother (2005) Neil Patrick Harris, Jason Segel, and Josh Radnor in How I Met Your Mother (2005) Neil Patrick Harris, Alyson Hannigan, and Jason Segel in How I Met Your Mother (2005) Neil Patrick Harris, Alyson Hannigan, Jason Segel, and Cobie Smulders in How I Met Your Mother (2005) Neil Patrick Harris, Alyson Hannigan, Jason Segel, Josh Radnor, and Cobie Smulders in How I Met Your Mother (2005) Neil Patrick Harris, Jason Segel, and Josh Radnor in How I Met Your Mother (2005) Neil Patrick Harris and Jason Segel in How I Met Your Mother (2005) Neil Patrick Harris and Cobie Smulders in How I Met Your Mother (2005)

Quotes 

  • Ted Mosby : Good morning, lying bastards. Anything you want to lie about before I head off to work to get fired?

    Barney Stinson : That's a nice shirt.

    Ted Mosby : You're the Devil.

  • Barney Stinson : Marshall, what you're suggesting is an elaborate,long-term lie that requires tremendous commitment. A nice guy like you can't pull that off.

    Marshall Eriksen : Sure I can.

    Barney Stinson : Lie to me right now.

    Marshall Eriksen : Okay. I have a spaceship.

    Barney Stinson : What kind of fuel powers your spaceship?

    Marshall Eriksen : Okay, I don't have a spaceship.

    Barney Stinson : No! Stand your ground! If someone questions you, distract them from the original lie with more lies. Here, let me demonstrate. I own a pony. Ask me a question.

    Marshall Eriksen : Okay. Um, what color is your pony?

    Barney Stinson : Well, when I first got Dandelion, she was a deep, chestnut brown, but, sadly, her stable is located near a chemical plant, which contaminated the drinking water. So over time, she's turned a sickly, grayish-white color and there's nothing that the vet can do to fix her.

    Marshall Eriksen : My God! I'm - That's horrible. Is Dandelion going to be okay?

    [Barney gives him a look] 

    Marshall Eriksen : Okay. All right. Huh. You are good! Dandelion's not even sick, is she?

  • Barney Stinson : Canada, you did it again! You even managed to ruin this! Why? Why do we even let you be a country?

  • Lily Aldrin : How do you know all these?

    Barney Stinson : Canadiansexacts.org. It's bookmarked on the top right.

    Marshall Eriksen : Dot org?

    Barney Stinson : Yeah, it's not for profit. They really just want to get the information out there.

  • Barney Stinson : If I could nail any celebrity, it would have to be Scarlett Johansson. She's hot, she's talented, and any woman who does that many Woody Allen movies has to have major daddy issues.

  • Barney Stinson : So how'd it all go down between you and Bilson?

    Ted Mosby : Well, after he proposed a vocational paradigm shift, I made an impromptu presentation using a four-pronged approach that really brought him to his knees.

    Barney Stinson : Hit him with a chair?

    Ted Mosby : Yep.

    Barney Stinson : That's my boy.

  • Ted Mosby : What is an E.T.R.?

    Barney Stinson : It's an Employee Transition Room

    Ted Mosby : What does that mean?

    Barney Stinson : Well, it's a space where a supervisor and an employee engage in a knowledge transfer about an impending vocational paradigm shift.

    Marshall Eriksen : People get fired here

  • Bilson : We're scrapping the plan for the new GNB headquarters. This recession is killing us. We're cutting anything non-essential. And I have a lot of tough choices to make during our company retreat in Saint Croix.

    Marshall Eriksen : Man, Ted is gonna be devastated.

    Bilson : Not when he hears it coming from his best friend.

    Barney Stinson , Marshall Eriksen : I have to tell him?

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs


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