"How I Met Your Mother" The Stinsons (TV Episode 2009) Poster

(TV Series)

(2009)

Neil Patrick Harris: Barney Stinson

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Neil Patrick Harris, Alyson Hannigan, Jason Segel, Josh Radnor, and Cobie Smulders in How I Met Your Mother (2005) Neil Patrick Harris, Frances Conroy, Jason Segel, Josh Radnor, Cobie Smulders, Brooke D'Orsay, and Zachary Gordon in How I Met Your Mother (2005) Neil Patrick Harris and Frances Conroy in How I Met Your Mother (2005) Neil Patrick Harris and Frances Conroy in How I Met Your Mother (2005) Neil Patrick Harris, Brooke D'Orsay, and Zachary Gordon in How I Met Your Mother (2005) Neil Patrick Harris, Alyson Hannigan, Jason Segel, Josh Radnor, and Cobie Smulders in How I Met Your Mother (2005) Neil Patrick Harris, Alyson Hannigan, and Jason Segel in How I Met Your Mother (2005) Neil Patrick Harris and Cobie Smulders in How I Met Your Mother (2005) Neil Patrick Harris, Alyson Hannigan, Jason Segel, Josh Radnor, and Cobie Smulders in How I Met Your Mother (2005) Neil Patrick Harris, Alyson Hannigan, Jason Segel, Josh Radnor, and Cobie Smulders in How I Met Your Mother (2005) Neil Patrick Harris, Alyson Hannigan, Jason Segel, Josh Radnor, and Cobie Smulders in How I Met Your Mother (2005) Neil Patrick Harris, Alyson Hannigan, Jason Segel, Josh Radnor, and Cobie Smulders in How I Met Your Mother (2005) Neil Patrick Harris and Alyson Hannigan in How I Met Your Mother (2005) Neil Patrick Harris and Alyson Hannigan in How I Met Your Mother (2005) Neil Patrick Harris, Alyson Hannigan, Jason Segel, Josh Radnor, and Cobie Smulders in How I Met Your Mother (2005) Neil Patrick Harris, Alyson Hannigan, Jason Segel, Josh Radnor, and Cobie Smulders in How I Met Your Mother (2005)

Quotes 

  • Marshall Eriksen : You're telling me that when you watch "The Karate Kid", you don't root for Daniel-san?

    Ted Mosby : Who do you root for in "Die Hard"?

    Barney Stinson : Hans Gruber. Charming international bandit. In the end, he dies hard. He's the title character.

    Lily Aldrin : What about "The Breakfast Club"?

    Barney Stinson : The teacher running detention. He's the only guy in the whole movie wearing a suit.

    Robin Scherbatsky : I've got one. "The Terminator".

    Barney Stinson : What's the name of the movie, Robin? Who among us did not shed a tear when his little red eye went out in the end, and he didn't get to kill all those people?

    [Breaks down] 

    Barney Stinson : I'm sorry. I just get so emotional.

    Ted Mosby : I am never watching a movie with you again.

    Barney Stinson : They didn't even try to help him!

  • Lily Aldrin : Where are you going, Barney?

    Barney Stinson : The beach. It's winter. Laser tag. Home. Shut up. You're going somewhere!

  • Marshall Eriksen : Now that you mention it, Barney did do something kind of odd at the office yesterday.

    Barney Stinson : [Flashback, Barney on the phone]  Okay, see you Saturday. I'm thinking brunch, farmer's market, maybe a hike. I love you, too. Bye.

    Marshall Eriksen : I figured he was just talking to some girl he was trying to nail. Or Ted.

  • Barney Stinson : [about his fake son, Tyler]  So I had to cast auditions, and I ended up with Grant.

    Ted Mosby : He seems fine.

    Barney Stinson : Oh, really? Watch this. Hey, Tyler.

    ["Tyler" doesn't respond] 

    Barney Stinson : Hey, Tyler. Hey, Tyler! Hey, Grant.

    Grant : Yeah?

    Barney Stinson : See? It's like amateur hour over here! Call me crazy, but child actors were way better in the '80s.

  • Barney Stinson : Oh, I am so relieved because the truth is I am as far from married as a human being can possibly be. My history with women would shock and appall you.

    Loretta Stinson : Doesn't matter. I still love you.

    Barney Stinson : Seriously, you can't imagine the things I've done.

    Loretta Stinson : Barney, when you were three, I left you with a babysitter and spent three weeks with Grand Funk Railroad being passed around like a bong.

    Barney Stinson : Mommy?

  • Lily Aldrin : Hey, Barney. Hot blonde babies drinking bad decision juice at eight o'clock.

    Marshall Eriksen : Nice rack radar. That's my wife.

    Barney Stinson : Nah, I gotta get going.

    Lily Aldrin : Seriously? But they're blonde and drunk, isn't that your type?

    Barney Stinson : Maybe I don't have a type Lily. God do you think the male mind is really that simplistic. That we all have one favorite type, geez.

    Barney Stinson : [to Ted and Marshall]  Asian, with some boob.

  • Barney Stinson : Look, mom, there's something I have to tell you, something

    [Trying to think of an excuse to get rid of his fake family] 

    Barney Stinson : I should have told you a long time ago. Tyler is dying, and Betty said that when he goes she's gonna off herself. So that's all probably going to go down pretty soon.

  • Lily Aldrin : This is crazy. You actually cast your own son?

    Barney Stinson : For a while, I got by borrowing/babysitting my neighbor's baby. And this one Christmas, when my mom was plowed on eggnog, I got away with a bag of flour and a Chuckie mask. But eventually, I had to hold auditions.

    [Flashback] 

    Barney Stinson : Four, eight... thirteen, Stay. The rest of you may go.

    Stage Mom : You said that if I slept with you, my son would get the part.

    Barney Stinson : Apparently, I'm a better actor than your kid.

  • Grant : Meat loaf? Tyler no likey!

    Barney Stinson : Tyler no likey? What did I tell you? You don't need a catchphrase!

    Grant : But it's funny.

    Barney Stinson : You know, you can be recast.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs


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