- [first lines]
- Archie Andrews: Welcome to Archie's Fun House! Featuring the Giant Jukebox.
- [Archie continues inaudibly]
- Veronica Lodge: We can't hear you with that space helmet on.
- Archie Andrews: Huh? Oh, sorry, gang. As I was saying, get ready for the Fun House Space Spectacular.
- The Archies: [singing] The air is dark and dirty / When it should be fresh and purty.
- [last lines]
- The Archies: [singing] Mr. Motorcar, stop awhile. / We can't wait another mile.