The Angry Video Game Nerd (TV Series)

Back to the Future (2006)

James Rolfe: The Angry Nintendo Nerd

Quotes 

• The Angry Nintendo Nerd : You know what's the worse thing about this game? It's that it bears the name "Back to the Future", a movie well worth putting more time and effort into making a decent game. And the movie came out in '85. The game: '89. There's no excuse. No fuckin' excuse. Just suddenly, orders are past, Quick! Make a shitty game, name it after a big movie, and then just spit it into all the stores for all the kids to buy for 50 bucks! Yeah, 50 fucking bucks! There's no internet to look up reviews back then, it was just, you know, you buy a game and hope for the best. With Back to the Future, how could you go wrong? Oh yeah, you can fuckin' go wrong all right. Like if I just shat into a bag and wrote "Back to the Future" on it, that would be the same as this awful piece of shit! It brings my piss to a boil. What a piece of shit! I'll never play again either, this is my last time. I'd rather eat out the rotten asshole of a roadkilled skunk then play this game ever again. And I'm dead serious too.

• The Angry Nintendo Nerd : This game is so bad, I *really* don't wanna play it. But Darth Vader came from the planet Vulcan and said that he'll melt my brains if I don't, so I don't have a choice.

• The Angry Nintendo Nerd : You gotta love that music. Sound just like the movie right? And that's it! It just loops over and over again. And you're not gonna believe it, but that's all you hear the entire game. Yep, from the title screen all the way to the end, same fucking music. I'd rather have a fucking buffalo take a diarrhea dump in my ear then subject them to this horrendous garbage!

• The Angry Nintendo Nerd : I wish I could go back in time to prevent this game from being made.

  [pause] 

  The Angry Nintendo Nerd : Unfortunately, I'd need to build a flux capacitor and I'd also need some plutonium to generate the 1.21 gigawatts of electricity so, it's out of the question.

  [swigs beer] 

• The Angry Nintendo Nerd : I never knew a hula-hoop girl could be so deadly. Why does she wanna kill Marty anyway?

  Marty McFly : He's an asshole.

• [last lines] 

  The Angry Nintendo Nerd : There's gotta be one good thing about this game, and I know what it is. It fits in a toaster.

  [the Nerd inserts the game pack inside his toaster and blows the game up] 

• The Angry Nintendo Nerd : Jumping is useless. Try jumping over the bench, you'll never make it. So, what's the point of having a jump button, if it doesn't help at all?

• The Angry Nintendo Nerd : Shit soup!