United States of Tara (TV Series)

Pilot (2009)

Toni Collette: Tara Gregson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Kate : Nice whale-tale.

  Tara : [as 'T']  Quit hating. You wish you had all this.

• Tara : [as 'T']  Dude, I have been digging around in your closet for an hour and I can't fuckin' get to Narnia.

• Tara : We're fully laminated.

  Kate : This is why I love you the best of all the alters!

  Tara : Drugs not hugs.

• Tara : I love that gloss on you, makes you look porno.

• Tara : Am I high?

  Marshall : Maybe a little bit.

• Tara : Pudding is good... ing.

• Tara : I hate you for not fucking me!

• Tara : Listen, I want to thank you for being such a strong, supportive kid. I'm lucky.

  Marshall : We're lucky, Mom. Because of you, we get to be interesting.

  Tara : Do you like being interesting?

  Marshall : I love it!

• Tara : Kate! I did not raise you to let boys who wear pigtails push you around.

  Benjamin Lambert : These are samurai knots!

  Kate : Mom, we're fine. We're having a dialogue about our relationship

  Tara : We? Honey, this Power Puff Boy does not warrant a collective pronoun.

  Benjamin Lambert : Is this the bitch character or something? Make her turn it off.

• Max : Buck, don't smoke in here.

  Tara : [as Buck]  I only smoke when I party.

  Max : This isn't a party.

  Tara : [as Buck]  Says you.

• Tara : [as Buck]  These taste homo-made.

• Max : Looks like someone forgot their pants.

  Tara : i like to think of it as remembering my ass.

• Benjamin Lambert : Ow! Mrs. Gregor, stop! I can't hit you!

  Tara : [as Buck]  What's this "Mrs. Gregor" bullshit? I'm Buck and I will fuck you sideways!

• Tara : [Talking into video camera about finding the morning-after pill in her daughter's backpack]  I can't seem to be able to micro-manage my daughter's vagina.

• Tara : [as teenage alter 'T', speaking to Kate]  Drugs not hugs.

• Tara : [as teenage alter 'T', speaking to Max, as he walks in with a bucket of fried chicken]  Here comes Maxi pad now, with a bucket of fried dub.

  Max : 'T' you're back.

  Tara : F-n-ay!

• Tara : [as alter 'T']  I love that gloss on you. It makes you look porno.

  Kate : Really?

• Tara : [as teenage alter 'T']  I'm a vegetarian now. I don't eat meat. Besides the hormones in that cluck cluck can make you get a third nipple.

  Max : Really?

  Tara : It's true guys. I got a myspace bulletin on it.

• Max : [Flirting]  You look young and cheap.

  Tara : Thanks Max.

• Tara Gregson : What's this Mrs. Gregson shit? I am Buck and I will fuck you sideways.