- Walter White: Who messes with the blowfish, Jesse?
- Jesse Pinkman: Nobody.
- Walter White: You're damn right.
- Jesse Pinkman: I'm a blowfish.
- Walter White: You are a blowfish. Say it again.
- Jesse Pinkman: I'm a blowfish.
- Walter White: Say it like you mean it.
- Jesse Pinkman: I'm a blowfish!
- Walter White: Yeah, you're a blowfish. That's right!
- Jesse Pinkman: I'm a blowfish, yeeeah blowfishing this up!
- [hits bong]
- Jesse Pinkman: We're gonna be kings, understand? Well, I'm gonna be king, you guys'll be princes or dukes or something.
- Badger: I wanna be a knight.
- Walter White: Can this person identify you? Can she identify you being there?
- Jesse Pinkman: She couldn't identify her left ass cheek.
- Tortuga: Hey, white boy. My name's Tortuga. You know what that means?
- Hank Schrader: Well, if I had to guess, I'd say that's Spanish for "asshole."
- Jesse Pinkman: Oh, and hey, hey, hey. Here. Here's your money. Yeah, 4660 bucks. Your half. Spend it in good health, you miserable sonofabitch!
- Barry: Look, if I don't pass chemistry, I have to go to summer school. And, I mean, I really studied. Like, really, really studied. Like, all night, hard. And, I mean, I'm so into chemistry for, like, the concepts. I just think I might have, you know, the attention deficit... couldn't you please just let this slide?
- Walter White: Mmm. Don't bullshit a bullshitter. The answer is no. Next time, apply yourself.
- DEA Agent Vanco: What's the matter, Schrader? You act like you never saw a severed human head on a tortoise before.
- Walter White: Listen, I-I'm a little fuzzy on the mechanics here, but could you not stop this woman from killing this man?
- Jesse Pinkman: Look, she had a gun on me, all right?
- [suspicious, Walt picks up the revolver from the counter]
- Jesse Pinkman: Yeah, my gun, okay? Mine. Go ahead, say it. Say it. No, I ain't no, uh, I ain't no Tuco or... or Krazy-8. I can't run a crew. Come on. Come on. Point made, man. Point made.
- Walter White: I'm Heisenberg.
- Badger: You're Heisenberg?
- Skinny Pete: Yeah, I remember you. You were the cook.
- Walter White: Let's just get this over with.
- Combo: Where's Jesse?
- Walter White: [exchanging plastic shopping bags] Busy.
- Skinny Pete: Hey, that's cool.
- Combo: Real cool.
- Badger: Totally cool.
- Skinny Pete: Hey, uh, hey... it's all there, man. Every dollar. 'Case you wanna, like, count it.
- Walter White: Here?
- Skinny Pete: I'm just saying, uh...
- Combo: Just saying, like, we cool, yo. We ain't got no confusions and interpretations as to who we work for.
- Skinny Pete: And that's church, yo. For real.
- Walter White: What have you heard?
- Jesse Pinkman: Well, we're set. Our boys are ready. Gonna be some mad cheddar, yo. Cheddar, Mr. White. Fat stacks, dead presidents, cash money. Gonna own this city.
- Walter White: We're not charging enough.
- Jesse Pinkman: What?
- Walter White: Corner the market, then raise the price. Simple economics.
- Hank Schrader: Hey, what's up with that?
- DEA Agent Vanco: Jesus Malverde, patron saint of Mexican drug dealers.
- Hank Schrader: Well, yeah, hell, I-I know who it is, okay? Scumbags kneeling down praying to him.
- [in exaggerated, stereotypical Spanish]
- Hank Schrader: "Eh, please, Señor Saint. Eh, no DEA, please, eh?"
- [he laughs, but stops when he sees no one else is]
- Hank Schrader: I'm just... I'm just saying, why's he on your desk? Going after neo-Nazis, you don't wear swastikas, right?
- DEA Agent Vanco: Sun Tzu.
- Hank Schrader: Son who?
- DEA Agent Vanco: Sixth-century Chinese general. Wrote "The Art of War." If you know your enemy as yourself, you'll fight without danger in many battles.
- Hank Schrader: Right on.
- Walter White, Jr.: Um, dad, notice anything?
- Walter White: [seeing Skyler dressed for work] Oh. Is there a funeral today?
- Skyler White: A funeral?
- Walter White: Well...
- Skyler White: Oh, Christ, do I look that bad?
- Walter White: No, no, no. It...
- Walter White, Jr.: M-Mom got a job.
- Walter White: A job? Why?
- Skyler White: Well, do I need to get out the checkbook and show you?
- Walter White: Damned druggie idiot. Is this what you've been doing the whole time I've been trying to reach you?
- Jesse Pinkman: No. I've been taking care of business.
- Walter White: What business?
- Jesse Pinkman: What business? The business you put me on, asshole. What, you already forgot?
- [going to the kitchen and retrieving a revolver from a drawer]
- Jesse Pinkman: This business. Huh? Does that, uh, jog your memory? Son of a bitch.
- Marie Schrader: Hank's doing just great down there. He's really making inroads.
- Skyler White: I'm sure he is. He's a hero, after all. So you gonna go down to El Paso?
- Marie Schrader: Oh, please. It's Third World enough around here. They keep him busy every second. He's already got some big operation going. Some kind of hush-hush deal. He couldn't tell me a thing about it except it's on the other side of the border.
- Skyler White: Wow, that sounds exciting. He's being safe, right?
- Marie Schrader: Uh-huh. Yeah. He says he's mostly riding a desk. Which, between you and me, is just the way I want it.
- Skyler White: Speaking of riding desks, got myself a job today.
- Marie Schrader: You did not.
- [Skyler nods]
- Marie Schrader: As big as you are?
- Skyler White: [sarcastic] Thank you.
- Marie Schrader: You know I just mean... where? With who? Well, someone willing to work around... that, apparently.
- Skyler White: Beneke.
- Marie Schrader: You did not. Is Mr. Grabby-Hands still there?
- Skyler White: Marie, that was one time at a Christmas party. And he was so drunk, he was practically slurring his words.
- Marie Schrader: Just what you want in an executive.
- Walter White: Nitrogen bonds to oxygen, which in turn... you do know what a bond is?
- Barry: Um...
- Walter White: A strong force of attraction. Covalent bonds, ionic bonds. The coming together of atoms and molecules to form compounds. No? Chemical bonds are what make matter... matter. Bonds are what hold the physical world together. What hold us together.
- Barry: Yeah. Yeah. No, I-I got it. Bonds.
- Walter White: Your test score says otherwise. It tells me you don't get it at all.
- Barry: Yeah, but, I mean, 58. I was close.
- Walter White: What is "close"? There's no "close" in science, Barry. There are right answers and wrong answers.
- Badger: Did Jesse really, uh... I mean, uh, did he really... squash that dude's head with an ATM machine?
- Skinny Pete: Word.
- Walter White: Who's saying that?
- Skinny Pete: Damn, man, it's all over town. Everybody's like, "whoa, snap." Usually I gotta chase dudes down for their money, but today everybody's paying up.
- Combo: True that. Serious.
- Badger: But like, uh... he really did it?
- Walter White: You didn't hear that from me.
- DEA Agent Vanco: [conversing in Spanish] What the hell are they thinking? Sending us some loudmouth who doesn't speak the language?
- Federale: Politics, man. Politics.
- DEA Agent Vanco: Supposed to be some hotshot hero. I say it's a bunch of crap.
- Federale: Hero for Albuquerque, maybe. Maybe it don't take much up there.
- Hank Schrader: Hey, uh, something I need to know about?
- DEA Agent Vanco: [switching to English] What? Oh, that? No, man. We were just, uh, singing your praises.
- Federale: Glad to have you. Welcome aboard.
- Ted Beneke: Looks like they got you all set up.
- Skyler White: Yeah. It's perfect. I am close enough to the bathroom that I don't have to waddle too far. And that's very nice.
- Jesse Pinkman: What you drawing?
- [she shows him]
- Jesse Pinkman: Damn. That's good. Make a hell of a tat.
- Jane Margolis: That's the plan.
- Jesse Pinkman: Really?
- Jane Margolis: I work part-time down at ABQ Ink.
- Jesse Pinkman: Right on. Yo, you're a... you're a real good drawer. I used to do a little of that.
- Jane Margolis: You used to be a drawer, too, huh? What stopped you?
- Jesse Pinkman: Uh... you know, just... so, tell me something. What kind of tattoo artist has no tattoos?
- Jane Margolis: That's way too big a commitment.
- Jesse Pinkman: My name's not really Jesse Jackson.
- Jane Margolis: Hm.
- Jesse Pinkman: It's Jesse Pinkman. And that guy you met, he's, uh... he's not my dad. You're not gonna kick me out, are you? 'Cause I actually really like it here.
- Jane Margolis: I don't make it my business what you do. So long as you don't do it here.
- Walter White: You are a blowfish.
- Jesse Pinkman: What?
- Walter White: A blowfish. Think about it. Small in stature, not swift, not cunning. Easy prey for predators but the blowfish has a secret weapon doesn't he? Doesn't he ?What does the blowfish do, Jesse? What does the blowfish do?
- Jesse Pinkman: I don't even know..
- Walter White: The blowfish puffs up. The blowfish puffs himself up four, five times larger than normal. And why? Why does he do that? So that it makes him intimidating, that's why. Intimidating. So that the other scarier fish are scared off. And that's you. You are a blowfish. You see, it's just all an illusion.
- Skyler White: [Responding to the rude stare of a fellow job applicant regarding her pregnancy] Big lunch.
- Jesse Pinkman: [answering machine] Yo. If I know you, leave a message.
- Badger: Hey, it's Badger, man.
- Skinny Pete: [in the background] What are you doing?
- Badger: Huh?
- Skinny Pete: Don't use your real name.
- Badger: [talking to Skinny Pete] What? That isn't my real name.
- Badger: Uh, okay.
- [pause]
- Badger: Yo, we got those pants you wanted. Thirty-two large, right? We got em' just for you, jefe. Let's do some bidness' yo.
- [hangs up]