Hot Tub Time Machine (2010) Poster

Craig Robinson: Nick

Photos 

Quotes 

  • Nick : Excuse me Miss, what color is Michael Jackson?

    Girl At Bar : ...black?

    Nick : AAHHH!

  • Nick : Lou, why would he do this?

    Adam : Why? I mean make a list. He's an alcoholic, he's divorced, his wife ran off with that Jamaican guy.

    Nick : He's failed at every jived ass money hustle he's ever tried.

    Adam : He has a mountain of debt.

    Nick : He hates his mother.

    Adam : Hates himself, hates everybody.

    Nick : He has erectile dysfunction.

    Adam : He's got halitosis.

    Nick : He's got that right ball! One less ball, shriveled up

    Adam : Oh yeah!

    Nick : ...like a... spoiled grape.

    Adam : I don't know. It's just like an accumulation of punishment.

    Lou : [Throws a pillow]  FUCK YOU GUYS!

  • Lou : [On his knees]  Oh, wow, good for you.

    Nick : [Eyes closed, crying]  I know, right?

    Lou : It's like Gary Coleman's fucking forearm. It's so black, so impossibly black. Oh God, I love you buddy.

    Nick : Don't say that!

    Lou : I'm sorry, I do!

  • Jacob : Do I really got to be the asshole that says we got in this thing and went back in time?

    Nick : It must be some kind of hot tub time machine...

    [deadpans into camera] 

  • Nick , Lou , Adam : [Repeated line, whispered]  Great White Buffalo.

  • Adam : By all counts we should be pretty fucked up right now, but I - I kind of feel great.

    Nick : I feel crazy right now.

    Lou : I feel fantastic! I wanna *fuck* somethin'!

  • Customer : Don't I know you? I know you! You're the singer from Chocolate Lipstick. You guys used to play at the Jam Shack on Friday nights.

    Nick : Damn! You remember that?

    Customer : Yeah. You were so good.

    Customer : Oh my God. Are you still singing?

    Nick : No no, that was a long time ago.

    Customer : Oh wow. What are you doing now?

    Customer : You get shit shit out of dog's asses. That's great.

  • Nick : Just like Cincinatti.

    Lou : What?

    Adam : You're gonna bring that up?

    Lou : We said we weren't gonna talk about Cincinatti ever, okay?

    Jacob : Is that why you have that shoebox in your closet that says "Cincinatti"?

    Adam : Yeah!

    Lou : What? That's fucking admissible!

    Nick : You keep it in the closet?

    Adam : What was I supposed to do with it? You can't bury those things.

    Nick : You wrote "Cincinatti" on it?

    Adam : How do I know which one it's supposed to be?

    Jacob : Is it a fetus?

    Nick : My friends are ridiculous.

  • Receptionist : I do have a reservation here for a Nick Webber-Agnew.

    Lou : [overhears Nick's name]  ... Webber-Agnew?, Webber *fucking* Agnew?, you took your wife's last name?

    Nick : It's progressive, a lot of dudes are doing it.

  • Adam : The carving you made 20 years ago, about me sucking cocks and dicks, it's not there.

    Lou : Wait. Is "cocks" still there?

    Adam : Nothing. I mean, it's not there.

    Lou : What about "dicks"?

    Adam : Neither "cocks," nor "dicks," nor "sucks."

    Lou : Oh, God!

    Nick : That's it. We're stuck in the fuckin' '80s!

  • Lou : Wow! I don't remember her being that fucking beautiful.

    Nick : And tight. She's so tight.

    Lou : She's really fuckin' tight!

  • Nick : I don't like you taking liberties with my dick.

  • Nick : [Nick is having sex with Tara in the bathtub in order to keep the events of the past unchanged. Nick is crying about cheating on his wife]  Courtney.

    Tara : Tara.

    Nick : Courtney.

    Tara : Tara.

    Nick : Courtney.

    Tara : No seriously my name is Tara.

    Nick : Not you, my wife.

    Tara : You're married?

    Nick : No, not yet, she's nine.

  • Nick : [on being stuck in the 80's]  How am I supposed to get a job?

  • Adam : Listen to me, man. That guy, that guy has pummeled you again and again.

    Nick : He made you his little bitch!

    Adam : He's humiliated you, emasculated you. The wheel of fate has stopped and dumped you here again, utterly defeated.

    Lou : None of this is helping me at all.

    Adam : I know, it's coming. It's coming right now.

    Nick : Patience.

    Adam : Maybe you're supposed to do something different...

    Blaine : What is this, girl talk? Let's go here, come on.

    Adam : You're better than him!

    Blaine : America!

    Adam : Maybe not by a lot, but a little. You're the patron saint of the totally fucked. You're completely toxic. There's nothing you can't kill. You're the fucking Violator!

    Blaine : The moment's over. Let's go!

    Adam : You can do this! You can get us the fuck out of here! You can be the hero!

    Nick : Enrique'-fucking'-lglesias.

    Adam : You love that song, don't you?

    Lou : I love that fucking song!

    [Lou gets up, launches himself one-footed off of the couch at Blaine. Blaine moves out of the way and punches Lou twice, knocking him back to the ground] 

    Adam : Shit.

    Lou : God damn it! None of what you said worked at all!

  • Nick : [upon seeing their hotel for the first time in years]  Muthafucka.

  • Dr. Jeff : I'm Dr. Jeff. Lou's resting. He's denying that it's a suicide attempt. Medically, he's stable; so, medically we can't keep him here. But, we do think he should be monitored for a few days. Does he have any family?

    Adam : Lou's family all kind of hate him.

    Dr. Jeff : Okay, well, then, I guess it's up to you guys - his friends You are his friends? Right?

    Nick : It's like that friend who's the asshole. He's our asshole.

  • Jacob : Shit! This is the black diamond?

    Adam : Terrifying.

    Lou : That's all you got?

    Nick : I don't remember this.

    Lou : Tips down. Tips fuckin' down! Right away. Let's ride.

  • Nick : I feel 19 again!

  • Nick : You know what's going on here, don't you, old man?

    Repairman : Yes, I do. Your tub is on the fritz. It'd behoove you to fix it.

  • Jacob : One, two, three...

    Jacob , Lou , Adam , Nick : Hot tub time machine!

    Jacob : It felt good. Admit it.

  • Lou : What's the matter, dude? Come on.

    Nick : I'm sorry, man. I'm just preoccupied.

    Lou : You just kind of down about being black and out of shape?

    Nick : What the fuck is wrong with you? No.

    Lou : Because you look good, you know? This is a great time for black people. I mean our time, not this time. This is a terrible time for black people.

  • Nick : This better be the last time my ass travels through time.

  • Nick , Jacob , Lou , Adam : Cheers!

    Nick : To past, present and future.

  • Adam , Nick : Ko... di... ak...

    Lou : ...Valley! Fuckin' K-Vals!

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs


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