Darkwing Duck (TV Series)

Adopt-a-Con (1991)

Jim Cummings: Darkwing Duck, Drake Mallard, Herb Muddlefoot

Quotes 

• [Darkwing's just been bailed out of jail] 

  Darkwing Duck : [referring to Tuskernini]  I'm gonna give him a taste of his own medicine. Turn the tables on him. I'm gonna beat him at his own game.

  Launchpad McQuack : You're gonna give him aspirin, rearrange his furniture, and challenge him to a game of golf?

  Darkwing Duck : No. We're taking up amateur acting. By the way, where'd you get the bail money?

  Launchpad McQuack : [as Drake enters the empty living room]  I

  [laughs nervously] 

  Launchpad McQuack : had to sell a few of your things.

• Darkwing Duck : I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the slug that crawled... Hold the mayo! You're not Megavolt! You're Tuskernini! In a really bad Megavolt disguise!

  Tuskernini : I am *not* Tuskernini and this is an excellent disguise!

• Judge : That's it!

  [hits Darkwing on the head with his gavel] 

  Judge : Darkwing Duck, you're going to jail.

  Darkwing Duck : [dragged out]  But I can't! I've got crooks to catch, fish to fry. I've gotta rearrange my sock drawer!

  [door closes] 

  Tuskernini : [laughs]  Well, boys, it looks like we have the perfect cover!

• Drake Mallard : The judge wants me to reform Tuskernini, so I'm going to reform him into a pancake.

  [pulls lever, a piano falls onto the bed] 

  Gosalyn Waddlemeyer-Mallard : Then we can adopt you after the judge throws you in prison; unless, of course, he gives you the chair.

• Darkwing Duck : [noticing Gosalyn outside his jail cell window]  Now what?

  Gosalyn Waddlemeyer-Mallard : Don't worry, Dad. I've got just the thing this time.

  [Some lit dynamite is tossed into his hands] 

  Darkwing Duck : [screaming]  Gosalyn Mallard!

  [He tries to put the fuse out, then decides to hide it under the bed] 

  Darkwing Duck : [screaming into the hallway]  GET ME OUT OF HERE!

• Drake Mallard : Gosalyn, I smell a rat.

  Gosalyn Waddlemeyer-Mallard : [pulling a rat out of her pocket]  Oh, can't I keep him, Dad?

  Drake Mallard : [disturbed]  That's not the kind of rat I meant and no, you can't.

• Darkwing Duck : [pressing the red button]  Wait 'till the judge sees this.

  Judge : [arriving]  This better be good. Darkwing Duck? I told you to stay away from Tuskernini.

  Darkwing Duck : No problemo, since Tuskernini's not here.

  [Darkwing opens the door and sees Tuskernini before him] 

  Tuskernini : Can I help you, gentlemen?

  Judge : What is the meaning of this?

  Darkwing Duck : [stuttering]  He tried to rob a bank! I saw him!

  Tuskernini : Your honor, I do believe he's trying to frame me again.

  [Darkwing attacks Tuskernini in anger, until the judge pulls him off] 

• [Darkwing makes his fifth jail tally] 

  Gosalyn Waddlemeyer-Mallard : [from the window]  Psst... Dad!

  Darkwing Duck : Gosayln! You gotta get me outta here! I'm going stir crazy, I tell ya! I've been in here over five minutes!

• Judge : [negotiating with Tuskernini]  I'll send in Darkwing only after you send out the hostages!

  [Darkwing angrily grabs him by the collar] 

  Darkwing Duck : [threateningly]  I go in first or I

  [teeth clenched] 

  Darkwing Duck : break your gavel!

  Judge : Never mind.