Everybody Hates Chris (TV Series)

Everybody Hates the Ninth-Grade Dance (2008)

Chris Rock: Narrator

Quotes 

• Chris : [about the school dance]  Why would I go to that dance anyway? It's just a bunch of people who hate me, hating me in a room while dancing.

  Narrator : We could film it and call it "Dancing with the Bigots."

• Greg Wuliger : [to Chris]  Dude, come on. I mean, when you look back on your last year in junior high school, what are you gonna tell people?

  Narrator : I got my ass kicked at the ninth grade dance.

• Chris : Look, man, I want to go, but if you haven't noticed, I'm black. Who's gonna want to go with me?

  Joey Caruso : Maybe Bubbles the chimp has a sister.

  Narrator : Unfortunately, she said no.

• Doc : [to Chris about getting a date for the school dance]  If she says no, ask somebody else. That's how I ended up with my first wife.

  Narrator : That's how he ended up divorced.

• Greg Wuliger : I got a date to the dance.

  Chris : With who?

  Greg Wuliger : Jennifer.

  Chris : Doesn't she hate you?

  Greg Wuliger : Well, she does, but she also needs a math tutor. I told her I'd get her a "B", and she agreed to walk in with me and dance with me twice.

  Narrator : In Greg's world, that was second base.

• Carrie : [to Chris]  So that's it? You cancel on me, you quit talking to me and I'm just supposed to be fine with that?

  Chris : Look, I'm sorry. People were saying bad stuff about us. I didn't want to put you through that.

  Carrie : So I'm not going to the dance because you can't take a little name-calling? What happened to "Bed-Stuy, do or die"? What's the worst they can call you? Stymie, Buckwheat, Rochester, Grady, Rollo, Junior Mint, Bosco, Chim Chim, Shoe Sole, Lakeside, Skillet, Count Chocula, Mudpie?

  Chris : You done? Look, I was just trying to look out for you.

  Carrie : If you were looking out for me, we'd still be going to the dance.

  Chris : You don't mind going with a black guy?

  Carrie : You're black? Why didn't anyone tell me? What was I thinking? If you really didn't want to go with me, all you had to do was say so. I don't even see why you asked.

  Narrator : It's not so bad. A black girl would've burned my house down.

• Narrator : Later that night, four guys still beat the crap out of me in the bathroom, but if I hadn't gone to my ninth grade dance, that never would have happened.