Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

Waiting for the Right Snapper (2008)

Jane Lynch: Dr. Linda Freeman

Quotes 

• Dr. Linda Freeman : Look, Charlie. I've got my next patient waiting. If you like, we can make a weekly appointment and really explore these issues. In fact, twice a week might not be over-doing it.

  Charlie Harper : No, thanks. I prefer to deal with my demons as they escape.

  Dr. Linda Freeman : All right.

  Charlie Harper : So, what do I owe you ?

  Dr. Linda Freeman : Well, I get $200 an hour, you were here for 5 minutes, so, why don't we just round it off and say $200.

  Charlie Harper : Man, even hookers pro-rate.

  Dr. Linda Freeman : Hookers don't have to listen to you, Charlie.

• Dr. Linda Freeman : I've got five minutes before my next patient, so, why don't you just give me the headlines.

  Charlie Harper : All right. I'm seein' a woman.

  Dr. Linda Freeman : That's not a headline, Charlie. That's the name of the paper.

  Charlie Harper : I know, I know, but... But she's different from the type of woman I usually go out with.

  Dr. Linda Freeman : Different how?

  Charlie Harper : Well, she's a little older.

  Dr. Linda Freeman : Well, you couldn't really go younger without having to register with the authorities.

  Charlie Harper : I mean, she's older than me.

  Dr. Linda Freeman : Oh. We have our headline.

  Charlie Harper : And I'm confused because I have really strong feelings towards her.

  Dr. Linda Freeman : Do you find her attractive?

  Charlie Harper : Yeah, she's gorgeous!

  Dr. Linda Freeman : How's the sex?

  Charlie Harper : We haven't had sex yet.

  Dr. Linda Freeman : Hold the presses! We have a new headline.

  Charlie Harper : Do I have to pay extra for the sarcasm?

  Dr. Linda Freeman : No, it's a flat rate.