How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)
The Goat (2008)
Jason Segel: Marshall Eriksen
Photos
Quotes
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Marshall Eriksen : So, I've been looking over these contracts, and I gotta say, I think this might be a little out of my league. For one thing, it seems like if these contracts are not executed precisely, we will be at war with Portugal.
Barney Stinson : Please, that's a Tuesday for me.
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Barney : Ted's probably broken this thing himself, right? If he's broken the Bro Code, then I'm off the hook!
Marshall Eriksen : I thought about that, and I gotta say Ted has uphold this thing time and time again. For example, article 87. "A bro shall at all times say yes."
[flashback]
Cindy : So he saved you from an avalanche?
Ted : Yes.
Cindy : And he carried you almost six miles to safety on his broken leg?
Ted : Yes.
Cindy : And you're a pre-op transsexual nightclub singer who used to be a member of the Russian mob?
[Ted looks at Barney with fury on his face before turning to the woman again]
Ted : Da.
[takes a huge zip of his beer]
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Barney Stinson : Marshall, I need a lawyer.
Marshall Eriksen : How much will you pay me?
Barney Stinson : A little.
Marshall Eriksen : All right, I'll take it.
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Barney Stinson : You can't tell anyone. Attorney-client privilege.
Marshall Eriksen : Why are you doing this to me?
Barney Stinson : Because I need you, Marshall, as my lawyer to prove I didn't do anything wrong.
Marshall Eriksen : How can I help you as your lawyer? You didn't break any laws, did you?
[Concerned]
Marshall Eriksen : Robin knows that you slept with her, doesn't she?
Barney Stinson : I didn't break any state or federal laws. But I think I broke a much, much higher law. The Bro Code.
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Marshall Eriksen : We can't keep a goat.
Lily Aldrin : But she's so cute and fuzzy and soft.
Marshall Eriksen : Yeah, and it also sheds, eats garbage and can't control it's bowel movements. Why don't we just call Duluth Mental Hospital and say my Uncle Linus can live with us?
