The Muppets (2011)
Eric Jacobson: Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear, Animal, Sam Eagle, Marvin Suggs
Photos
Quotes
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Kermit the Frog : What? You kidnapped Jack Black? That's illegal!
Fozzie Bear : But Kermit, what's more illegal: briefly inconveniencing Jack Black, or destroying the Muppets?
Kermit the Frog : Kidnapping Jack Black, Fozzie!
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Miss Piggy's Receptionist : She has an opening in early September.
Walter : Early September? But that's in six months!
Fozzie Bear : That's nothing. I once waited a whole year for September.
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Jack Black : Animal, what are you doing here?
Animal : ...Acting... Naturaaaal.
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Fozzie Bear : Wow, that was an expensive looking explosion! I can't believe we had that in the budget.
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Veronica : I'm gonna shoot straight: you guys aren't famous anymore.
Fozzie Bear : Yeesh. I wish she'd shot a little more curvy.
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Tex Richman : The show's over!
Fozzie Bear : But we were so close!
[bangs his head against the score board, which suddenly goes from reading, "$9,999,999" to "$99,999.99"]
Fozzie Bear : Or... not. Eh, kinda makes me feel better, actually. We were nowhere close at all!
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Animal : In control.
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Miss Piggy : Kermit, we found a celebrity! Jack Black has graciously agreed to host the show for us.
Kermit the Frog : That's great! Where is he?
Miss Piggy : In the trunk.
Jack Black : [Inside car trunk] Get me out of here!
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Fozzie Bear : [as a portrait] I didn't do it, I've been framed! Ah! Wocka wocka!
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Miss Poogy : Sorry, Miss Piggy. But you've been replaced... Permanently!
Miss Piggy : Oh, yeah?
Miss Poogy : Yeah!
Miss Piggy : I don't think so... sister!
Miss Poogy : Who are you calling 'sister', sister?
Miss Piggy : Oh, look! An omelette station.
Miss Poogy : Where?
Miss Piggy : HIYA! There's only room for one Miss Piggy. And that's moi.
Miss Poogy : Yeah? Well, you ain't seen the last of me. I'll be back.
Miss Piggy : Yesh, yeah, ever heard of mouthwash?
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Fozzie Bear : I went to this bad sea food place the other day. Yeah, it was so bad, the catch of the day was salmon-ella!
[No one laughs]
Jack Black : [in pain] That joke is so 50 years old.
[the audience laughs]
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Fozzie Bear : Check it out, Fart-Shoes!
[Steps on the whoopie cushions to make fart sounds]
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Sam Eagle : Hello.
Rowlf : Hello.
Link Hogthrob : Hello.
Beaker : Mee-Meep.
[sees an ax in his own hands, freaks out a bit while getting rid of it to grab a hairdryer]
Beaker : Mee-Meep.
Rowlf , Sam Eagle , Link Hogthrob , Beaker : Hello.
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Miss Piggy : I can't believe I fell for Muppet Man!
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Animal : No drums! No drums! Jack Black said no drums!
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Swedish Chef : No masken?
Miss Piggy : No Masken.
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Miss Piggy's Receptionist : Miss Piggy?
Miss Piggy : [as she's eating a doughnut] What? Can't you see that I'm busy?
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Fozzie Bear : [under his breath to remind Kermit] Evil oil baron.
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Mahna Mahna : [sings] Mahna Mahna
Tex Richman : You're breaking the law! I own that name!
Snowth , Snowth : [the Snowths sing] Doo-doo, do-do-doo, do-do do do do do doo.
Gonzo : [with a bowling ball] Hey guys, I think I finally worked out how to - Whoo-ha!
[Gonzo throws the bowling ball and hits Tex Richman]
Fozzie Bear : 'Oil' bet that hurt.
[Tex Richman starts laughing]
The Newsman : This just in: Richman gives back Muppet theater and name. Change of heart, nothing to do with head injury.
Tex Richman : [sings] Mahna Mahna
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Miss Poogy : Fozzie! What the heck are you doing, hibernating? Next show starts in thirty seconds. We hired you and we can fire you, so get your butt in here, now!
Fozzie Bear : [to Kermit about them] They terrify me. Let's go.
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Marvin Suggs : [singing] The movie's almost over, it's time to say "So long".
Tex Richman : Will you please stop singing? You've already sung this song.
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Sam Eagle : This week on "Everything Stinks"...
[gets pulled away by a cane]
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[Fozzie and The Moopets are singing to the tune of "Rainbow Connection"]
Fozzie Bear : Why are there such great deals on our hotel rooms? Free parking for cars, not RVs.
The Moopets , Miss Poogy : Not RVs.
Fozzie Bear : Our wedding chapel is twenty-four hours. No marriage certificate is needed.
Fozzie Bear : No marriage certificate is needed.
The Moopets , Miss Poogy : No marriage certificate is needed.
The Moopets , Miss Poogy : We're glad you found it, Pechoolo Casino. The owners.
The Moopets , Miss Poogy : The Moopets.
Fozzie Bear , The Moopets , Miss Poogy : And me.
Fozzie Bear : Cha-cha-cha! Thank you. We'll be back in six minutes.
